13 for Thursday: Recipes for the perfect marriage

What makes a great marriage… trust, respect, honesty…? Here is a little bit of fun for a Thursday. Thirteen recipes for the (not quite) perfect marriage!

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship, She goes Tuesday I go Fridays.

2. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

3. We also sleep in separate beds, hers is in California mine is in Texas.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary, “Somewhere I haven’t been for a long time!” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands, if I let go she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, toaster and bread machine, she said  “there are too many gadgets and no place to sit down”, so I got her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburettor. I asked her where it was? She told me “In the lake”.

8. She got a mud pack and looked great for two days, then it fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck yelling. “Am I too late for the garbage?” The driver said “No jump in”.

10. Remember marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right, I just didn’t know her first name was ‘always’

12. I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18months, I don’t like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault, “My wife asked what was on the TV?’ I said, “Dust”.

Let me know have you got any more funny ones to add to this list?