Finding Mr Right for the woman who wants it all

During my lifetime I have always endeavoured to be a good Samaritan. This included my endeavours to set up two lovely women with partners. An activity fraught with difficulty.

The first was a colleague with whom I car pooled. We’d take her car one week and mine the next. During our 80 minutes of travel together daily and the odd social outing, she confided in me that she was 38, partnerless and really wanted to find “someone”, get married and have a baby before she turned 40 since the conception odds after 40 were challenging.

Initially, I listened with interest and told her that I had it on good faith that 40 wasn’t necessarily the end of the line for child birth; that although the challenges were greater, it was still a viable proposition.

But, she had made up her mind. When she asked me if I could help, I was surprised as she was quite attractive and I thought could have found a stud much younger and more attractive than me (52). And not married.

I replied that I was sure it would be delightful sleeping with her, but that it wouldn’t solve her problem because I had had a vasectomy.

How embarrassed (and slightly disappointed) I felt when she said that she didn’t want to sleep with me, she wanted me to help find her a suitable partner.

Over the next day or two, she rattled off a few of her partner “must haves.” Must be single and never married, not overweight, between 30 and 40, taller than her, non-smoker, moderate drinker, wants children, well educated, preferably Caucasian … and on it went.

When I told her the person she was looking for doesn’t exist, she was taken aback. She held a Masters Degree in Psychology but couldn’t comprehend that she had ruled out almost all of the people likely to be on the market.

I managed to find her a nice, well-dressed, good looking young man (29) who worked in our organisation, which was huge. He was well-educated, single, and I thought a good place to start, so I engineered a date.

After two dates, she said that he had indicated he didn’t want to go out with her again and I asked why. On their second date she had told him she wanted to get married “next year” and have a baby.

She’d frightened off a guy who may have been a good candidate right at the starting block.

While I had always been able to find female friends for myself, both platonic and non-platonic, I realised that I wasn’t really all that good at finding someone for a friend.

I suggested to her that she should join a dating site and try for someone there. Alternatively, I suggested she not worry about being married, just find someone who could inseminate her and go it alone with her baby.

Not long after, I changed jobs and never did find out what eventuated for my needy friend. I hope somewhere she has a 10-year-old son or daughter and is deliriously happy.

Have you ever set someone up? What happened?