Aw, the BABY BOOMERS. We were the generation of free love, mini skirts, the birth control pill, the sexual revolution, and utopian socialist communes. Our bookshelves not only contain The Joy of Cooking, but also The Joy of Sex. Who needed Fifty Shades of Grey when we had Erica Jong’s Fear of Flying? And we had (and still have) Dr. Ruth with her infectious laugh and crisp German accent espousing the virtues of vigorous sex.
Yet, we are rapidly becoming a generation of expensive little blue pills (or yellow, or orange – not trying to endorse anything here), arthritic aches, bionic organs, mechanical joints, and post-menopausal parts (yes I am talking about the big V). Living longer does present some interesting challenges and can give new meaning to Christian Grey’s red room of pain.
So…let’s deal with it, why don’t we.
Seniors (boy, I really cannot relate to that word), ahem, ‘people of age’ (better) really do have sex. I do not purport to be an expert in sex. I am just a sexagenarian who has come to realise that it just doesn’t happen as easily anymore.
The lamentable libido…
We have endured decades of waxing on and waxing off in terms of sex drive.
…our libidinous (pre child bearing) 20s – wax on
…our fatigue-filled (child bearing, child rearing) 30s – wax on, wax off, wax on
…our healthy-hormone but life-stressed (child college funding) 40s – wax off, wax on, wax off
…our menopause and ”manopause” (empty nester) 50s – wax off
What would Mr. Miyogi say about the 60s? Oy vey
This is what I say about the 60 – men still think about sex all the time, and women still do not. The problem appears to be more related to “striking while the iron is hot” so to say. That can be a challenge when the sexagenarian man can suffer with, let’s just say ‘short attention span’ and the sexagenarian woman needs a bit more of the rom-com movie moves. Suffice it to say “You didn’t just have me at hello”.
My motto’s always been when it’s right it’s right…
Timing is everything. Prior to having children, anytime was a good time. Then it became after the kids went to sleep, or when the teenagers left the house for the evening (locked door just in case). Empty nesters experienced sex again like in their 20s. But after 60? Waiting until the evening can be fraught with potential for error.
…have had wine for dinner – while alcohol consumption may have loosened one up in earlier years, now it just increases the need for those little blue, yellow, or orange pills, or something herbal, like…and really, I am not making this up…the Horny Goat Weed (Epimedium).
…have had a stressful day – according to William Bortz, MD, in Sex Matters: Keeping Sex Alive for Life, “stress releases endorphins that mess with the sex hormones”.
…or just be plain exhausted from watching those grandchildren earlier – sex takes commitment.
The best time may be…in the beloved lyrics of Starland Vocal Band (and most recently, Ron Burgundy) – “Sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight”.
Originally published here
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