Women dying at the hands of men – an awful epidemic that has to stop #stopkillingwomen 138



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This week there was so many cases of violence and death of women that you likely didn’t hear about them all. Two women in a week have been killed through family violence in the Gold Coast. More have been horribly injured. It adds to an awful year of 62 violent womens’ deaths for Australia, but the screaming by women in media and politics is not loud enough for anyone to hear it seems. We have to all stand up and scream for protection in family violence it seems for anyone in government to listen, so that’s what we want to talk about today. What do you think is the best way to turn the heat on our politicians and police to deal with this epidemic that seems to only be getting worse and worse as months go on?

On Thursday, 49 year old Karina Lock, 49, was allegedly shot dead in a Gold Coast McDonald’s restaurant by her estranged husband, Stephen, who then turned a gun on himself.

Also on Thursday, young mother Tara Brown, 24, died from an awful head injury allegedly inflicted by the father of her child, Lionel Patea. He is alleged to have run her off the road and beaten her with a metal bar until she was near death. What makes it worse is just a week before she had gone to police and sought protection and they told her to go elsewhere.  The media described it passively as a “road rage incident”.  It wasn’t.

Hours before Lock’s death, according to the Guardian, Brisbane woman Zarah Farah Abdi was allegedly attacked with a machete by an ex-partner, who was subdued by neighbours with a wooden table leg and a wheelie bin.

This night before, in another corner of the Gold Coast, a 27-year-old woman turned up to hospital in a taxi with a gunshot wound to her buttocks.

Another woman is in a critical condition in a Victorian hospital after being stabbed earlier this week. Suspicion continues that it too is domestic violence.

5 women died this week due to domestic violence and it seems our politicians and our police can do nothing to protect them.  Tara Brown’s case is horrifying for all of us because she even pointed out to them that she needed help, and was denied it.

We have to ask ourselves today, what can we do about it to bring it into the spotlight.  With 62 women dead in less than a year, and the number up 50% from last year, our society needs a significant second look. Former Army chief, David Morrison called out last month.

“If we were seeing two soldiers killed every single week in Afghanistan or an area of military operations, commanders would be held to account and be asked to explain.”

Queensland’s Courier Mail has run a powerful feature this weekend showing stars of politics and television standing up.  But what will really make a difference is if real people in our society stand up.

Who gets to explain this though and do something about it?  Should it be the Police Ministers in every state?  Should it be the Federal Minister for Social Services, Scott Morrison, who is responsible for mental health, families and children’s policy?  No one else comes to mind.  There is no minister for women nor a logical place we can all reach out to to say “Enough is Enough!”

On behalf of the 62 women this year that have died and the tens of thousands facing awful and unmanageable circumstances, it must be time for us to combine our voices and say stop the violence against women across our country.  As the mature and experienced voices… it’s our obligation to make people act on every frontier.

What do you think can be done? We need to send a message and the best way might be with social media and your voices to help bring some attention to this horrible issue.

Hashtag with your response today two different hashtags.  #stopkillingwomen #weneedaction

courier mail

Rebecca Wilson

Rebecca Wilson is the founder and publisher of Starts at Sixty. The daughter of two baby boomers, she has built the online community for over 60s by listening carefully to the issues and seeking out answers, insights and information for over 60s throughout Australia. Rebecca is an experienced marketer, a trained journalist and has a degree in politics. A mother of 3, she passionately facilitates and leads our over 60s community, bringing the community opinions, needs and interests to the fore and making Starts at Sixty a fun place to be.

  1. What causes a man to kill his wife, partner, sweetheart, mother, father…
    Is it any one thing??
    Or many things rolled together??
    You see, us women can be violent too….
    Its not just the men……

    10 REPLY
    • Yes that is true.
      And here’s the but, how any men are being killed due to spousal violence. I have not heard about any.
      Certainly not two a week or like last week five.

    • Don’t know WHY their behaviour is such! Must add that violent males outnumber violent females! We have heard of long-suffering battered wives who eventually resort to killing their husbands; but had to face court for “murder”!

    • Kaye Wallis I like you think it is a very complex problem. In my opinion probably a combination of many things. Anger, alcohol abuse, drug abuse and possibly some sort of personality disorder. I lived with an abusive mother. She never abused me but she abused my brother physically, psychologically and emotionally. She also abused my father. I have done a lot of research to try and understand her. I have come to the conclusion that she was a narcissistic psychopath. She abused my father emotionally and psychologically until she ground him down to nothing. Then she showed contempt for what she had created. Why didn’t he leave? I have asked myself that many times. No answer yet.

    • Yes, Debbie, …. It is complex……
      In my opinion, certainly deep, deep anger was the root of my mother’s anger towards me… And when She told me ( she was 80 yrs old) that her father had abused her as a child…it was War Time also and he was chronically unemployed)

    • A light went on… And I said AH … Now I understand…….
      Those who have been wounded. ( abused… Mentally, physically, emotionally ) appear to then become The Abusers in their own families……I suffered much at my mother’s nasty anger….
      But the miracle is….. One week before she died… I heard those wonderful words….” I love you”….
      That washed away the years of YUCK……
      And I have forgiven her , because , actually , she did not really understand what she was doing …. The anger disabled her thinking and reasoning…..

      I FORGIVE HER………

  2. How can one person fix this problem, money doesn’t find the people inclined that way, IT only helps after the event. There should be a person responsible in every Council, who just does that job. They know the area and who to contact, I am sure people would welcome a local person Talking on TV does nothing, many don’t watch that version of TV, too busy at work, socialising or playing TV games. We do have a woman assistant to PM . M Cash

  3. No good praying for a future without violence! Really! We need to show our anger and frustration.The poor girl who walked into a police station begged for help and was turned away, REALLY, REALLY,!!!!!!,What the hell do the police think their job is?, Its to protect us!!, Ofcourse they could have helped her.And all the other women that have AVO out on ex partners that beg for help, that are turned away, because the police dont do their job.We should all be Soooo angry about this.Ring the police minister,

    4 REPLY
    • Its a lot better today than 40years ago when taken to the police they shone a torch in car and said domestic dispute well to do respected family in town!!!

    • I believe the police’s hands are tied unless the culprit actually does something illegal, sad I know but I believe true

    • the police should be able to refer her to somewhere safe to go. just sending her back was criminal. thats where we need good friends and family network too.

  4. I think we need more shelters where these women can go. On top of that police need to have that sort of information at their fingertips. So when a woman comes to them for help to escape they can point her in the right direction. The first priority should be the safely of the woman and her children. Once she is safe and feels safe then they can talk to her about pressing charges etc. As I have said before I wonder how much alcohol and drugs are involved in these events. I think there is a sickness at the core of this behaviour. Normal, rational people do not behave as these men have behaved. So we have to look at not only punishment but causes.

    8 REPLY
    • It’s ongoing safety thats important, however I know personally your on your own from experience, even with an intervention order the police are powerless. The whole system is a joke and these violent people know it and do not care. NOTICE every time someone has to die for any out cry, out cry should be the second it starts…. no one should ever be allowed to hit anyone ever.

    • Beri Vera That is sad. Maybe we need to look at jail time for these people if they break an intervention order. Maybe time in a tough prison would sort them out and give the victim a breathing space.

    • There are hundreds of pamphlets at Police Stations. They inform you of the numbers to call and the organisations to contact. It’s not always about alcohol or drugs. Some humans have narcisstic personalities and it’s all about controlling. This then means those personalities need help through the mental health system. However, those humans won’t seek help as they believe they are completely normal. In the end, I believe, it comes down to the punishment should fit the crime. The Court system is a total joke. The Government don’t want any more inmates in gaols as that costs money. Sadly it will never end 🙁

    • Back in my birth country, while doing nursing studies from 1960-1963, have attended to badly bruised men, with their wives in tow showing bruises & black-eyes! On admission to the men’s medical ward, their history stated they got bashed by the male members of their own family & hers too! Rarely saw battered wives & abused children in the community, i might add, & the police were never involved. Sadly, in our “civilised society”, that can’t be done as one can be charged with ASSAULT! I still prefer the “ethos” in my birthplace wherein extended families do & can protect their own, without police intervention!

    • The problem police have is they can’t act just on someone’s word that they have been threatened. They need evidence that an offence has been committed. Apprehended Violence Orders aren’t worth the paper they are written on.
      If a person came to me and said, “My partner’s going to kill me.” I’d tell them to pack up and leave. Don’t tell them where you are going.

    • As a survivor and advocate for Domestic Violence ,first,I want to say that Emotional abuse IS Domestic violence.ALL domestic abuse begins with emotional abuse….some relationships move through to physical Violence,while a lot of women are controlled and destroyed behind closed doors by emotional/psychological abuse……that is the abuse chosen by the cowardly Narcissist,who most often projects to public ,as the good ,humble guy…….I was married to such Narcissist for 34 years,till I broke open,when I tried to commit suicide,as I believed I was the bad person,the crazy person and so on…If I had done that.my ex would have been home and hosed….He would have continued to be seen as the “good Guy”,the poor man with the “crazy”wife…..I never knew ,until I started healing that he was the creator of my “craziness”…..After being released from hospital,it took 3 years of therapy befor I understood it was not my fault at which time I left my husband…,and then another 8 years of therapy,to arrive at this wonderful place of wellness….so now it is time for me to give back by helping other victims of domestic abuse recover,and go on to have the wonderful life they were meant to have …..the big problem is ,after initially helping and keeping the woman and children safe in shelters,there needs to be mental health help,financial help and support for years later to help these women and children recover from their horrendous ordeal…..THIS HELP IS NOT THERE…..MY RECOVERY CAME FROM my DOGGED DETERMINATION AND PERSISTANCE to get well….i FOUND YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN….the understanding,and support is not there…end of story…the government is responsible for turning their back on this for far,far too long…….There is also a broken Mental health system that is failing many,many people….Both domestic abuse and Mental Health support are linked and needed…..Depression is a big red flag that things aren’t right,and must be addressed…but the cost of good mental health is far too high,and most people need ongoing therapy,and cannot afford the cost….and the public health system is in crisis mode with an epidemic in suicides….bed shortages and reduced funds…and the government has always looked on and done nothing……then wonders why we have these current epidemics,that are swept under the carpet,while putting gags on media and government workers!!!!…

    • I agree Sharyn. My mother was an abuser. She abused my father emotionally, psychologically and financially all of their married life. She abused my brother physically, psychologically and physically. Strangely enough she did not abuse me. I was the favoured one. She ground my father down into nothing. And then she would abuse him for being what she made him. I have tried to do research over the years to understand her and I have come to the conclusion that she was a narcissistic psychopath. I cannot understand why my father did not leave. Perhaps you have some insight into this. As an adult I took her to task about her treatment of my father. Her answer was , and I quote ‘that he deserved it’. She truly believed that she was doing nothing wrong. In the end I could not help him as he refused to leave her and actually mourned her when she died.

  5. It’s ongoing safety thats important, however I know personally your on your own from experience, even with an intervention order the police are powerless. The whole system is a joke and these violent people know it and do not care. NOTICE every time someone has to die for any out cry, out cry should be the second it starts…. no one should ever be allowed to hit anyone ever.

    2 REPLY
    • The problem also is Beri,all abuse starts with emotional abuse,ie is manipuation and control,which is actually listed as Domestic Violence….however,if you try and seek help from Domestic Abuse hotlines,you are ignored,as they have too,too,many cases og Physical Violence to deal with,and so you do not get any help ……you have to wait till it escalates to physical violence. before you are helped…sad but true……

    • Sharyn Parsons Hart you are so right, with emotional abuse no one can actually see it, so it’s hard to be taken seriously when that really should be a major red flag and the person helped and supported to find a way to have it dealt with or move away, it’s torture living on egg shells for anyone.

  6. Violence against women is what happens when, at every level of our society we accept inequality, double standard and disrespect of women. When our prime minister called Julia Gillard bob brown’s bitch, when Talk back radio host suggested to send her at sea in a shaft bag, when men get laid, they get lucky but a women doing the same thing is a slut ! When it is ok to pay women less than men for the same job, when women are expected to do most of the caring for their children and even parents, …etc…. Women represents 50 percent of our population but are under represented in all aspect of decision making, including a man being minister for women….when part of society is considered inferior, it sort of makes it ok to abuse..violence is NEVER acceptable ….not on women, not on any one….

    7 REPLY
    • Exactly, this attitude has to start at the top. The sentiments have to actually felt , we ( our country) don’t need rhetoric, we need action and understanding from a male dominated government.

    • We now have a female ,Premier and deputy premier with a domination of female leaders in the cabinent,and boy is this woman changing things in Queensland….Go Anna….Finally we are being listened to and she has already begun,and is now making them prority and a matter of urgency with as much money as needed ,putting into place the 140 recommendations handed down to her from Dame Quinten Bryces enquiry in to Domestic Violence…..FINALLY our VOICES HAVE BEEN HEARD!!!!!

    • Gale, I thought it was such a ridiculous statement coming from supposedly an educated man. Glad he didn’t say men who abuse are animals because that’s not true either. Men who abuse anyone or anything are totally out of control and need to be put away and educated on life, because without a female they wouldn’t be in this world and how would they like their mother to be treated so badly.
      They just don’t seem to get it.

    • They don’t get it any form, treatment of each other( the human species) , .but I don’t really think they understand respect at all, because why are they not mortified about the joke about rising sea levels( how could someone think that was funny) so if that part of respect is not part of their psyche , I don’t think they can care about anyone or really respect anyone

  7. This has to stop . Men have the power to do it .talk to the young boys in your life . Step in and speak up on mass when you see it happening . Shame these pigs !! P. s . It may be your little girl next. You have to lead by example !!

  8. Where can we start? The message doesn’t seem to be getting through to the younger generation that life is precious.

  9. It’s an absolute disgrace. Like it or not women in Australia do not have equal rights and until they are given equal pay and conditions the same as men they are forced to remain in violent relationships because they have no finances to get out. Wake up Australia!

    2 REPLY
    • I am talking from experience. If it’s that bad you leave and find work. I did it with 3 children under 6. It wasn’t easy but it was for the best.

    • Christine,it is not as simple as that…there are many,many things at play ,including emotional /psychological abuse,slow,slow brainwashing by the Narcissistic partner…..As a survivor and now Advocate for Domestic Violence,there is so much education needed by so many professionals and the public as well who always blame and shame the victim by saying ,”just leave”,while the perpetrator is never mentioned……and the really sad,sad thing the support in every respect ,IS NOT THERE FOR VICTIMS.

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