What Pisses Me Off: Post-Christmas! 37

What pisses me off


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WPMO favourite Christine is back and better than ever – and she’s got a bone to pick with Christmas!

1. According to the calendar Christmas is over but judging by the amount of ham still in my fridge it is far from done. I must admit this year the ham is fantastic, moist, tasty, absolutely perfect and I admit to being a ham-aholic, but since Christmas Eve I believe I have eaten enough ham to make me not want to eat it for another 12 months. I have eaten many different sorts of ham sandwiches from ham and pickle to ham and cheese toastie, ham and eggs for breakfasts, ham and salad for dinners, ham and crackers for afternoon tea. I have offered ham to neighbours. The dog has had ham for her dinner and she is getting it again tonight. I think she is beginning to hate me because when I put her dinner bowl down last night she definitely shot me a “OMG not ham again” look. I know how she feels – the thought of slicing more for Mum is pissing me off I don’t know where she is putting it…she must have hollow legs.

2. Whoever thought of “stress relief” colouring in books for adults must be a millionaire by now because they can be expensive and that part pisses me off! But they certainly hit on a winner with a lot of people; my mother is a fan, she is forever colouring.

One day just before Christmas I was babysitting my grandchildren. I was watching Sienna colouring in one of her favourite books then Mum decided she also wanted to colour in so she pulled out her latest “zen” book and her box of 50 pencils. Well Sienna’s eyes lit up and suddenly her colouring in book was stupid, she wanted to help her great grandma colour in, but Mum was not having a bar of it. Mum told Sienna “No you help Crazy Nanny colour in your book”! “But Crazy Nanny is hopeless at colouring I want to help you!”

Mum takes her colouring seriously and Sienna got a very firm no. I had a 6 year old and a 91 year old arguing over colouring in books and pencils. I could see Sienna was getting very annoyed with me because I could do nothing but laugh. I may not be able to hold a pencil steady enough to colour in but those books certainly relieve my stress. Every time I see Mum start to colour in I think of the arguments and have a good laugh to myself.

3. In the lead up to Christmas, with spending getting out of hand, I decided it was time to check my bank balance and with the shock result I was forced to make an executive decision. Out went the Amethyst crystal and into my pocket went the Citrine, after all it is the Crystal of Abundance and supposed to bring energies of generosity and I did not want to miss the opportunity of some kind stranger giving me a hug and an abundance of $50 notes.

Sadly, that rich stranger did not cross my path and the only thing that came to me in abundance was a large gift in the middle of some bromeliads obviously left by a large dog or a small horse and it really pissed me off! The next night was a full moon so I left my crystals out in the yard under the moon’s rays so they could re-energise – maybe now they will work better.

4. Mum wrote a letter to Santa. I put in the Santa Letter Box at the Post Office and she was supposed to get a reply from the big fella himself. She didn’t and it has really pissed her off!

Have you been pissed off this Christmas? Why?

Christine Massey

I am a 61-year-old dysfunctional child of a problem mother. I tend to look at the world with the philosophy "Laugh hard, you could be dead tomorrow!"

  1. way too funny Christine, say hi to mum for us, I hope your crystals work soon and the colouring in wars are sorted out xoxo great read thanks 🙂

  2. I love Christmas, I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my lovely family. Love Christmas so much 🎄

  3. Nope, had a lovely double Xmas one with the grandkids and family on 8 December in Adelaide. Then a quite one with daughter, hubby and Stanley the dog on Xmas day in Brissie. Yes had leftovers but great for lunches, where you say GYO (get your own) that way you can have a little rest from cooking.

  4. Christine, Christmas also pisses me of, it comes around before I have got over the last one and I am never ready for it.

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