Today would have been our 40th anniversary 98



View Profile

Today would have been our 40th anniversary and as I sit here and write this, I can’t help but think of what you would say if you were here. “Has it been that long?” I can hear you say, as I laugh. But in all seriousness, there were times when I wasn’t sure if we’d make it to 40 years together.

Not because of your ill health, but because of our capacity to argue until we went blue in the face! After our youngest, those were some tough times but I’d like to think we were all the better for it. When you got sick in 2010, that was the toughest time of my life, even tougher than those arguments. It was hard to believe you had aggressive prostate cancer and it was ever more difficult to hear you wouldn’t survive.

You were only 65 when you died and looking back, we felt so old just sitting there in the hospital ward, but I never really realised how much more life you had left to live. We made all those plans to see our grandchildren in New Zealand, and to go on cruises, to be together into our 80s. But when you died, I never knew being lonely would hurt so much. I knew it would be sad, but I didn’t know it would physically ache my body.

But do you know what has come as the biggest surprise, even as our 40th anniversary comes and goes? I’ve learnt to move on, even though two years has gone so fast. It might sound ridiculous but I never thought I could go overseas or do things without you by my side. But guess what? I could. They say you surprise yourself in times of adversity and I have. I’ve started sewing for our local women’s boutique, and I’ve gone on a cruise (it wasn’t expensive, don’t worry Barry!). I went on that NZ trip and saw Lucy and Jake, you wouldn’t believe how big they’ve gotten. I’ve learnt to enjoy the peace and quiet, and have stopped feeling bad about it.

Tonight on our anniversary, I will toast to us. The gift of strength has been the light in the tunnel for me.

Here’s to all the years gone and all those to come. I love you forever.


Have you lost someone and still celebrate the milestones you should have?

Guest Contributor

  1. Can relate to this article. Life does go on with the loving memories. My husband was stroke and on our 48th wedding anniversary he departed and is almost 2 years.

    3 REPLY
    • Sorry for your loss, but still lucky you had 48 years with your soul mate. not many have that opportunity to find someone so special.

    • I cA relate to you ! My husband Had a stroke suffered Aphasia ,seizures ! The last 20months Lung tumor . The stroke was on our 39th wedding anniversary … He lasted 48yrs3mths .When he passed I know he is around me ,,He comes to me with the song Grab your coat And grab your hat Leave your worries on the door step ,if any one knows that song …..

  2. Life is bitter sweet when you have go through the remainder of your life without someone you love. They will always be alive in your heart and in your dreams

  3. My Husband passed away just after our 40th wedding anniversary,I still have my memories of what a wonderful life we had together

  4. Could not have said it better myself……..was married 46 years when my husband passed away aged 65…….yes celebrate all the milestones..he is always in my thoughts……will love him forever…..but also enjoy and now don’t feel guilty for me time!!!

  5. That is written beautifully, you do move on but never ever forget somebody important to you that has passed away.

  6. 3 years ago, my doctor husband drowned at the beach when he had a heart attack while surfing. He had 80% blocked coronaries – no symptoms and didn’t know until the PM. He had been feeling unwell for sometime but 12 hours days at work were deemed responsible. He was 65 and this year would have been our 40th wedding anniversary. Look after yourself and please – work to live, not live to work!

    2 REPLY
    • There are echoes here of my life,but I pray to have my hubbie for many long years. He turned 70 last year and I gave him an ultimatum,stop work,or divorce! After also starting work at 8am and many nights finishing at 8.30 with only 10 days leave a year,he actually fell apart at the end of it all,last year,and I did think I would lose him in one instance. You are so right “work to live” and although his patients still haven’t forgiven me,it’s time for us now. I’m just so sad for you and wish you could be celebrating that great milestone together. Please look after yourself and I send Big hugs.

  7. Anniversary. He was 66. It will be out 50th Anniversary June 4 next year. Your words said everything.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *