The bright side of divorce in your 60s 73



View Profile

Divorce at any age is a trying time but divorcing in your 60s, often after more than 25 years of marriage, is a different kettle of fish.

There is an increasing number of over 60s going through divorce nowadays, with over a third of couples in their 60s choosing to part ways and explore other avenues separately.

The reasons for divorce are many: some couples simply grow apart, others see approaching retirement as a chance to enjoy their independence, while many see an opportunity for change once the kids are grown and have left home.

While it may seem taboo to speak about divorce as a positive, there are many reasons it can be the best thing for us.

Therapist and divorcee Jackie Walker says we often associate divorce with the bad and marriage with the good, when it’s clearly not always the case.

“Divorce gets bad press and marriage gets a hugely positive press, but frankly there’s nothing more miserable than being lonely in a marriage,” she told The Guardian.

“If all the people who were miserable could be less miserable what a nicer world we’d have.”

And isn’t that the truth? Choosing happiness is one of the best things we can do for ourselves. Focusing on the positive to help you deal with the negative is the real kicker here and one of the simplest ways we can lead happier lives.

We often associate divorce with pain and hardship; we sympathise with our friends who are going through it, and we struggle to cope as we navigate our own divorces. While these feeling are undeniably a part of divorce, an increasing amount of couples are choosing to see the bright side of the separation.

After years of staying together for financial reasons or the sake of the kids, getting a divorce allows them a breath of fresh air and the chance to take time for themselves.

Financial burdens are no longer an issue, with the kids out of the house and a decent amount of the mortgage paid off there is less pressure to keep it all together.

Divorce is difficult, there’s no denying that, but after working though the emotional aspects of it, after dealing with the logistics and the heartache and the sometimes overwhelming upheaval of your life – there is light.

There is time to focus on yourself, to explore the things you’ve let fall by the wayside over the years, to learn more about yourself, and rediscover what it means to be independent and free.

Life isn’t over after divorce. While you’re closing the book on that chapter you’re opening yourself up to a new world of possibilities. New opportunities to meet people, travel, experiment, and explore. All you have to do is begin.

Have you been through divorce in your 60s? Do you think there is a positive side to divorce?


Starts at 60 Writers

The Starts at 60 writers team seek out interesting topics and write them especially for you.

  1. Seperated last year when I was 77 after 46 years married now 78 living alone and happy no longer lonely as I was when married. People dread living alone I am enjoying it.

    7 REPLY
  2. Well he chucked a final dummy spit today and after nearly 50 years I am glad he’s gone out of my life.

    6 REPLY
    • Christmas always seems to bring things to a boiling point doesn’t it? I hope you are ok and have some support around you. I wish you all the best for Christmas and the year ahead.

    • Yes I am fine, I spent 7 weeks in hospital this year trying to cope with the death of my daughter in 2011 and blaming myself. He had not been near us for 3 years but he was contacted by our son and for his sake I allowed him back into my life as a friend only. He overstepped the mark and accused us of using him. I was disgusted with him coming on the attack again. We brought his a staffie for Xmas and his birthday. As a final gesture he dumped her on us, a mongrel move.

    • Patricia Doherty Sounds like you are well out of it. You’ve had some terrible times and my heart goes out to you. I wish you well.

  3. I divorced at a very young age and have been married to a wonderful man for over 30 years. I didn’t like it when I was young (even though it was my decision) and I don’t think I would like it in my 60s.

  4. I was reading an article about this not long ago, it was saying our age group is the largest growing, so many couples finding once the kids have left home they just find they don’t have that much in common anymore, it was saying it’s not always the best thing for kids to be raised in family’s where mum & day no longer have a loving relationship because it’s from our parents we learn what a healthy & loving marriage is, it also said the divorce rates in younger people have dropped because most tend to live together before they marry & have a much more realistic idea of if this is right for them..I did agree with everything in the article

    1 REPLY
  5. I separated when I was 57, came as a terrible shock to me, i didnt see it coming although most other people seemed to know ! but he preferred the thirty year younger wife of someone we knew . I was distraught, couldnt see a future, didnt want to know when friends said when one door closes another opens “. but after fifteen years I can definitely say its true !!! met someone else, completely the opposite of my ex, have travelled extensivly, have a part time job, ex thought women shouldn’t work ,and made it very difficult for me when I did sometimes.!! and live a peaceful stress free life , When I saw my ex at a family event a few weeks ago I was shocked !!! he looks a miserable old man !!! and for the first time ever I actually, for a very brief moment felt sorry for his thirty year younger than him partner !!! but only very briefly !!!!

    2 REPLY
  6. I’m 61 divorced twice leaves a very bad taste in your mouth and now I find women of my age aren’t interested in a male of my age unless he is cashed up has a big house a Harley and a grubby beard, what chance do I have after two I am resigned to the fact I will be on my own till I meet my maker.

    7 REPLY
    • John dont lump us all together, most women aren’t looking for wealth but someone to have fun with, its just easier as we get older to focus on our women friends

    • Robyn may your heart be filled with warmth and Happiness at this special time of the year.

    • Well John Rolfe – believe me that we women of a certain age find it difficult to find a man of suitable age that isn’t either married, into kinky sex or creepy. Most of them are looking for a nurse or a purse!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *