Our Community Cares: grandchildren 53

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This week, a Starts at 60 community member contacted us asking for some advice..

“My daughter is nearing 36 and she still hasn’t had children. I love her dearly but as my only child, I worry that I won’t have grandchildren and mainly, that she is missing out on the blessing of a child. She does want them, she assures me, however she is very focused on her career and has just been promoted. Is she too obsessed with money and will she regret this decision? I’d like to hear from those who have had grandchildren and those who haven’t and why”

Do you have an answer for this concerned mum? Tell us below.

Starts at 60 Writers

The Starts at 60 writers team seek out interesting topics and write them especially for you.

  1. I think this is completely your daughters decision. As much as we think grandchildren are the be all & end all, ultimately it isn’t our choice. Live your life & enjoy what you have.

  2. Maybe she has frozen some eggs? This is a very popular practice for career driven young women these days. I completely understand your yearning for grandchildren, and although it’s hard, ultimately it’s her choice, & you must support that choice.

  3. My son is 42 and I would love a Grand Child but it is his life. I also think he would love a child, I hope he doesn’t leave it to late. He is my only child. I live in hope so I go volunteer with babies. Get all my cuddles but I know it’s not the same.

  4. However much you worry about your daughter, she has to live her own life. She is an adult and makes her own choices for better or for worse. No doubt she faces many pressures in the course of forging her career and Mum begging her for grandchildren is another added pressure. Are you thinking of her happiness or of your own. Be supportive for her and if grandchildren happen down the track it will be when she is ready for them. 🙂

  5. My daughter is 40 and is in the same situation. The big difference is, I respect her life’s decisions. I certainly didn’t have her, to have grandchildren. My mother actually used to ask me, constantly, when I was having children. After two years, I told
    her to but out, as I was having trouble conceiving. Leave her to her own life and just go with her. She knows what she wants.

  6. It’s entirely her decision. Your daughter has a right to live her life as she sees fit. Lots of women don’t want babies that’s always been the case. Today’s young women are lucky, they get to admit that and choose a career. In our day it was just expected you’d marry and have kids.

    Be grateful she is only telling you she doesn’t want children. There are far worse ways she could choose to live her life. She could be living on the streets using ice. You have nothing to be pining over, she’s a healthy young career woman, that’s her choice.

  7. Cherish that you have your daughter, and if someday she does give you grandchildren, well thats a bonus.

  8. I’m sure there are many children around your area who don’t have a grandparent, for so many different reasons.Maybe you could be that special person to them & make their lives happier for you being in their lives.

  9. Having grandchildren is a blessing, not a right. You only had one child and you are expecting her to give up her dreams to fulfill yours. That seems to be a teensy bit selfish given that she is probably already under pressure being an only child with an aging parent.

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