Relationships

I’m having trouble letting go of my daughter who lives overseas

Jun 03, 2016

When your child says they’re not coming back from an overseas holiday, it’s the hardest thing in the world. I always thought Australia was my daughter’s home but now… I have to come to terms with the fact it isn’t. My daughter is a British citizen and has recently told me she plans to live in the UK permanently. This means that if I have grandchildren, they will live overseas, thousands of kilometres away from me.

I realise I’m not alone… but it still doesn’t make it easier when I think about all the important dates she’s missing. I fear she’ll miss out on eternal sunshine in her native Perth. And that she’ll contract a disease from being constantly cold. secretly, I want her to come home, saying she’s home sick, but really, she’s found a new home.

How do you get used to the idea? I have another child, a son, but he rarely visits. I have considered moving to England to be with my child but as one friend said to me, I have to let her live her own life. I guess it just makes me upset thinking the home I made for my child isn’t enough. Some say that when you have a baby, it’s like your heart is living outside your body, and it’s so true.

I watched my daughter leave on that day five years ago and thought to myself: “It’s only temporary”. It did comfort me in those times when I was missing her so much. I knew in my heart she would find her way back but I didn’t know it would be on an annual holiday.

I wonder if other parents have had the same situation where their son or daughter is an eternal traveller or wants to live overseas forever? I wonder if they feel the desire to bring them back and say, look what you’ve missed. Or if they think that it’s great. Because I do have one friend who said to me that she is so proud of her son who lives in Hong Kong with his wife and three kids. She said she doesn’t mind if he doesn’t come back but I think she may be lying. I feel strongly about this.. and my heart is in two.