If you could do it all again, would you sign a wedlease? 82



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When we asked you on Friday what your wedding song was, some of you had some beautiful responses: ‘O Perfect Love’, ‘Amazing Grace’, ‘Unforgettable’. But there were also some of you with some very funny comments too, including Philip who said his wedding song should have been ‘Highway to Hell’! A few of you agreed with him too!

So, if you could get married again, would you do it this way? Would you sign a ‘wedlease’?

It doesn’t sound very romantic but according to marriage therapist Susan Pease Gadoua, we should get rid of the idea that we should marry for life, so that we can have happier relationships. The renewable contract, called a wedlease, might work better for some. Author Vicki Larson, along with Susan, has written a book about changing the notion of ’til death to us part’. Apparently, the traditional marriage model in our modern-day culture ‘sets up too many people for failure’.

The authors suggest instead of promising to be with your partner forever, agree to be together for two, three, four more years. At the end of that contract period, the couple makes a decision about whether they want to continue or go their separate ways.

Ms Gadoua told The Daily Mail, “A Starter Marriage is a short-term contract for couples to ‘try on’ the institution to see if it fits – without bringing children into the mix – before jumping into a life-long contract’.

‘We have learner’s permits for driving, we have internships before starting careers and we have probationary or modifiable contracts in many other business negotiations, yet the greatest and most in-depth legal contract that most of us will ever enter requires that you commit to one person forever with precious little information about what it will entail’.

But Harry Benson from the Marriage Foundation disagrees, and says the idea of a wedlease undermines commitment.

“The basic premise of commitment is to make a plan for an indefinite future together”, he told The Daily Mail.

“Anything less than that is a business contract.

“Without such a clear view of the future, there is no need to sacrifice, to forgive, to prioritise one another, all of which are fundamental characteristics of a successful relationship.

“Most importantly, commitment is about giving up other choices. If I choose you, I have stopped choosing others”. Do you agree?

Currently, the Australian divorce rate is 2.1 divorces for every 1,000 marriages, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics.

What do you think? Do you think reducing a marriage down to a contract is a good idea? Would it have worked in the past for you? Or would you consider it in the future? Tell us below.

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  1. What a load of crock !! A Marriage is a life time commitment – certainly not a ” I’ll try it and see for a while ”
    What idiotic no brainer of a university scholar has put together this no chance idea? Yes, there are many times when you both say ” If only” & “If I’d known then what I know now I wouldn’t have done it ”
    However you enter into this LIFETIME PARTNERSHIP without a contract to be renewed such as a mobile phone as the marriage contract should mean a lot more – not for a couple of years & then receive continual calls to upgrade or renew. Honestly , what a load of ———————– & it’s not even April 1st anymore. Wedlease -a total no hoper – you are either engaged or married – certainly not on a short term contract.!

  2. Why? Just live together, for heavens sake.

    5 REPLY
    • A friend of mine has a great arrangement , after her husband died she met a very nice man has stayed in the relationship for 20 yrs they go on holidays together etc. go on family do’s but have always lived in separate houses, and have never spent the night in each other’s houses. Works amazing.

    • It would be my suggestion that one doesn’t move into another’s house, but buy a new residence together going 50-50 in mortgage and all expenses, works a treat for some.

  3. Why get married if it’s not a long term prospect? Makes a bit of a joke of the sanctity of marriage between a man & woman doesn’t it? Might work in favour of my daughter if she decides she wants, at some stage of her life, to marry her partner of choice!

  4. Personally, I think it’s a brilliant idea. My marriage ended when my husband died so it was a pretty good union that lasted 36 years. I know I was totally faithful and I’m pretty sure he was as well. However, I spent many years thinking the marriage contract is constantly evolving and should be negotiated for renewal every five years or so.

  5. What a stupid idea marriage is about commitment and not being selfish , if you cant do that marriage is not for you . Couples can live together for a long time its only when they bring children into the world that they realize they cant change their selfish ways then its the kids that pay .

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