When we asked you on Friday what your wedding song was, some of you had some beautiful responses: ‘O Perfect Love’, ‘Amazing Grace’, ‘Unforgettable’. But there were also some of you with some very funny comments too, including Philip who said his wedding song should have been ‘Highway to Hell’! A few of you agreed with him too!
So, if you could get married again, would you do it this way? Would you sign a ‘wedlease’?
It doesn’t sound very romantic but according to marriage therapist Susan Pease Gadoua, we should get rid of the idea that we should marry for life, so that we can have happier relationships. The renewable contract, called a wedlease, might work better for some. Author Vicki Larson, along with Susan, has written a book about changing the notion of ’til death to us part’. Apparently, the traditional marriage model in our modern-day culture ‘sets up too many people for failure’.
The authors suggest instead of promising to be with your partner forever, agree to be together for two, three, four more years. At the end of that contract period, the couple makes a decision about whether they want to continue or go their separate ways.
Ms Gadoua told The Daily Mail, “A Starter Marriage is a short-term contract for couples to ‘try on’ the institution to see if it fits – without bringing children into the mix – before jumping into a life-long contract’.
‘We have learner’s permits for driving, we have internships before starting careers and we have probationary or modifiable contracts in many other business negotiations, yet the greatest and most in-depth legal contract that most of us will ever enter requires that you commit to one person forever with precious little information about what it will entail’.
But Harry Benson from the Marriage Foundation disagrees, and says the idea of a wedlease undermines commitment.
“The basic premise of commitment is to make a plan for an indefinite future together”, he told The Daily Mail.
“Anything less than that is a business contract.
“Without such a clear view of the future, there is no need to sacrifice, to forgive, to prioritise one another, all of which are fundamental characteristics of a successful relationship.
“Most importantly, commitment is about giving up other choices. If I choose you, I have stopped choosing others”. Do you agree?
Currently, the Australian divorce rate is 2.1 divorces for every 1,000 marriages, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics.