I resent those who judge me, because they don’t know me 140



View Profile

Over the last few weeks I’ve had a very eye opening experience into exactly what so many people are really like. Ovarian cancer is something that is very dear to my heart. It’s a disease that has been in my family and in my friendship circles so I’ve chosen to really invest in supporting it.

This month I went to four fundraising events. All had a ticket price in excess of $60. All had raffle tickets sold in multiples of $5. There were also extra donation options, too. I enjoy these events and I believe that if you can enjoy yourself while supporting something else, then why not.

But when I “only” gave an additional $50 to the cause and bought another $20 worth of raffle tickets, the people around me at my table looked at me like I was skimping out on something. They were talking about their donations loudly, claiming “I already gave $100 last week so I’ll just give $200 today” as if it was something worth sharing. To me donating is a personal thing so I sat there quietly, offering what I thought was appropriate. One lady even asked me from across the round table, “Kathy how much are you putting in?” to which I replied, “Just a little bit”. It was there in their eyes, in their quiet whispers while avoiding making eye contact with me – judgement. Judgement that I hadn’t offered more, judgement that I wasn’t gifting the cause the same amount they were.

This made me feel two things.

Firstly I was angry. Who were they to judge me? What they didn’t know is that I was a member of something called the “Teal Circle” I had pledged to give $1,500 a year for the next three years to ovarian cancer research. It’s done quietly and it isn’t promoted. Here they were judging me without knowing that I give much more than just what they see.

The second thing I felt was sad. Saddened that people in the community who do outlay money to go to these events, with good hearts for a good cause, those who might not be able to commit much extra money, are judged for that.

People should not be judged by those who don’t know them. In fact, people shouldn’t be judged at all.

People who judge others based on looks, possessions, homes, cars, public donations and what they show the world aren’t looking at the real person at all. They don’t know how much time they give to causes in replacement of money, how many programs they silently support each year, how much assistance they give their family members, how much love and kindness they give to those who need it.

Every person in the world is a book with the cover closed. It disappointed me so much that people who are selfless and give all of the love they can to those around them go unnoticed, while people like this can sit there and feel they have a right to judge in the first place.

If you don’t know me, you can’t judge me. And that goes for everyone else too.

Tell us, have you experienced something similar? Is the charitable you kept private instead of public? Share your thoughts on the issue here…

Starts at 60 Writers

The Starts at 60 writers team seek out interesting topics and write them especially for you.

  1. R u sure the others wernt appalled that they too had to pay more.
    Many who involve themselves in charity r not rich and an extra donation of $70 may have shocked them hence the looks.

  2. We should all do what can for charity, those of us who can’t afford to give money, give of our time. I think the person writing the article cares to much what others think, if your doing what you consider to be the right thing, why are you worried what others may or may not think?

    4 REPLY
    • I think the writer was “put off” by the remarks made, & not what you perceived as being worried about what others think. She was polite enough not to retort back, for, i would have & stormed out of the place leaving my raffle tickets behind!

    • I think you should read the article again, she was pu of by the open display of look how much I have and how much I give. Not a nice attitude. Sorry

    • I think it is petty for her to be put off by anything, she is there to help a charity not to win a popularity contest

    • oh dear, this is just an opinion’s article, they asked for my opinion I gave it..if your opinion is different fine, this is not something I would argue over

  3. I hope they were not judging everyone who goes to those events pays for the seat and if they give nothing else that is a donation. Every dollar given is to charity is a dollar to be grateful for it is not a competition to the people who need the help!

  4. Sounds to me like you are also judging them.

    4 REPLY
    • Sounds like you might have been one of them . Those type of people aways try to push it back on the person speaking out ,

    • I think your judging the writer. You weren’t there or maybe your were and were one off the people she spoke about?

    • A lot of judging going on here. Seems we all do not know each other but are now judging each other’s opinion. It was an article obviously written by a lovely person on how she perceived others judging her. An article to provoke thought and opinions. In some way each day each of us is getting judged by someone. A perception it a reality????

    • Sandra O’Donnell this is just an article Lynn has a right to her opinion..your the the one judging people here and it is not nice

  5. Brings to mind Matthew 7: verses 1 – 3
    Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

    1 REPLY
  6. That kind of judgmental thinking makes me wonder if your helping Charity to do the right thing..or your just looking for praise

    4 REPLY

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *