I can’t stop my daughter-in-law from doing this…

I’m so excited about the upcoming birth of my third grandchild in three months’ time. It’s such a special time leading up to the birth, and I am already making little things for the new bundle of joy, as well as babysitting his or her’s siblings. Although I can’t wait for the new baby, there’s something I’m very worried about: I’m worried that my new grandchild will be born with a birth defect or be very ill.

You see, my daughter-in-law is still smoking. At first she wasn’t open about it, in fact she was secretive about it. My son found out and told me about a month ago but I just couldn’t believe it. Is this woman mad? Smoking is terrible for adults, so what do you think it’s doing to your baby? My mind instantly went back to my own mother who smoked while she was pregnant. She didn’t know back in the 50s how dangerous this was for her baby but she did it because it was a habit. I weighed 6 pounds and developed asthma as a child, and I believe her smoking was responsible for that.

I also thought about a show I saw on SBS or ABC last year about ‘Britain’s Worst Mothers’. One of the girls on the show had come from a family of smokers and her own mother and grandmother smoked while they were pregnant. They had the idea that if you smoke, you can make your baby’s heart stronger. that really just defies logic and the doctor was just as flabbergasted as I’m sure every viewer was. Just pure ignorance and stupidity – and lack of care for an unborn child.

I have tried to bring up the subject with Belinda, my DIL, and she just refuses to speak about it. I showed her pictures (which you can see here) that show what smoking does to a foetus but it had no effect, she seemed to be more insulted than anything. And I understand that, but how can I get it through her head that smoking harms your baby?

I’m hurting because I was unable to play sports as a child due to asthma as a consequence of my mother’s smoking in pregnancy. I want my grandchild to have a wonderful, healthy life, and I wish my DIL wanted the same things.

What should I do?

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