How often we see our grandkids shouldn’t matter, but this should… 77



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Yesterday I saw a post on the Starts at 60 Facebook page about someone not seeing their grandchildren enough. At first I felt sadness for them and my heart felt their pain. But then I had a moment and realised that it shouldn’t matter how often we see them. The moments we share together when we do see them are what should matter most to us.

I’m a grandparent and I adore my grandkids. We live in different states however I am lucky enough to see them a few times a year. Now I can agree with anyone who says there’s no such thing as enough love from a grandchild – it truly is better than anything! But I have learnt not to dwell on the fact that both of my children moved away with their families and instead, I make sure that the times we share together really count.

I have friends who live in the same suburbs as their grandchildren and over time they’ve shared that even though they still have just as much love for them as there always was, the relationship has changed and it’s not as exciting anymore. I’m blessed that each time I catch up with my grandkids it’s a time of love, laughter, happiness and kisses. I don’t get to babysit them often at all; I don’t have a regular authoritative role in their life and I don’t get to participate in their everyday lives.

In some ways I believe I am missing out and I get jealous of my friends. I wish I could see my grandkids every day, pick them up from school on the odd occasion and watch them at their sporting carnivals, but unfortunately I can’t. Perhaps when I retire I could move, but while I’m still working it’s not an option.

Even though I miss out on these things I am sometimes glad for it. I’m glad that they don’t see me as an extension of their parents. I’m glad that they still ring me to talk each week. I’m glad that they’re growing up having happy memories of holidays with Grandma instead of dull memories of the “other” person who reminded them to do the chores or homework.

Everyone has their own story and most people will probably oppose my thoughts, which is fine! But I hope that people can stop thinking about quantity and instead think about quality.

A relationship with our grandkids should be just that, quality over quantity. We should focus on our roles of being there, providing love and support for them and building happy memories with them no matter what ages we all are.

I can understand the heartbreak that so many of us go through at not being able to see our grandkids regularly. Especially for those people who’s families have been torn apart and not by geography or impracticality but by cruelness don’t get to share the joy of grandparenting. I just hope we can all remember to treasure the moments we do have to share together.

Do you see your grandchildren regularly? Do you wish you saw them more or are you just happy to have any moments shared together?

Starts at 60 Writers

The Starts at 60 writers team seek out interesting topics and write them especially for you.

  1. Yes we have the time and the patience to do all that stuff, its much appreciated by the kids and thei parents!

  2. I miss our grandchildren terribly, we don’t have a good relationship with our daughter, we have tried but she doesn’t want us, thank god for our son in law who tries to help, but when we are lucky enough to see the children it is beautiful

    2 REPLY
    • I feel so sad for you. Perhaps when they are older they will make their own decisions to spend time with you.

    • A bad thing happened to many of us. When you get older, time is limited. When the grandkids get older, may be the grandparents are already gone to heaven…

  3. No matter what,no matter when and how often we see them,we always enjoy the love, the kisses and the hugs and most of all the pleasure we get tops it all.

  4. With the rise in narcissism many grandparents don’t see their grandchildren at all.

    1 REPLY
    • So true. It’s like they see no value in the relationship, or jealous that the children like you!

  5. I think that is a really well written article and I agree with you. Quality over quantity.

  6. I miss my grandchildren who live interstate so much. FaceTime is a wonderful way of communicating but it’s not the same as that physical contact. Travelling by plane is a once a year option for me & I so love my time & try to make it as memorable as possible .

  7. I don’t get to see my eldest grand daughter and her brother. They have been torn apart from me by cruelness, as my son’s wife had decided that they should not have anything to do with me. My grand daughter is 18 years old now and I miss all the milestones in her life, one wee example, I was not part of her 16th birthday party. They live ‘around the corner, but far away’

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