A husband’s honest confessions have gone viral online 9



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A anonymous man has shared his story of love and heartbreak and it has many people re-thinking how they feel about their own relationships…

“I got home one night and, as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, ‘I want a divorce.’ She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words. Instead, she softly asked me why. I avoided the question, and this made her angry. She threw down the chopsticks and shouted, ‘You are not a man!’ We didn’t talk to each other that night. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage, but I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement stating that she could keep the house, the car, and a 30% share of my company. She glanced at it and tore it to pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy, but I could not take back what I had said. She finally cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see in the first place, and the idea of divorce felt more real now.

I got home very late from work the next day, and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have dinner, I just went straight to bed and fell asleep.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but requested that for the next month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son was in his last school term for the year, and she didn’t want to disrupt him with a broken marriage.

She also asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day, and requested that I now carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning for the month’s duration. I thought she was going crazy, but to make our last days together bearable, I accepted her odd request.

We were both pretty clumsy about it when I carried her out on the first day, but our son was joyfully clapping his hands behind us, singing, ‘Daddy is holding mommy in his arms!’ His words triggered a sense of pain in me. I carried her from the bedroom to the living room, and then to the door. She closed her eyes and softly said, ‘Don’t tell our son about the divorce.’ I nodded and put her down outside the door.

We weren’t as clumsy on the second day. She leaned on my chest, and I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realised that I hadn’t really looked at this woman for a long time. She was not young anymore. There were fine wrinkles on her face, and her hair was greying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realised that our sense of intimacy was growing again. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by, and I suddenly realised that she was getting very thin.

One morning it hit me how she was burying so much pain and bitterness in her heart, and without really thinking about it, I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at that moment and said, ‘Dad, it’s time to carry mom out!’

To him, seeing his father carry his mother out had become an essential part of every morning. My wife gestured to our son to come closer, and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might start changing my mind. I carried her in my arms, and her hand naturally wrapped around my neck. I held her body tightly, just like on our wedding day.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms, I could hardly move a step. I knew what I had to do. I drove to Jane’s place, walked upstairs and said, ‘I’m sorry, Jane, but I do not want to divorce my wife anymore.’

It all became very clear to me. I had carried my wife into our home on our wedding day, and I am to hold her ‘until death do us part.’ I bought a bouquet of flowers for my wife on my way home, and when the salesgirl asked me what to write on the card, I smiled and said, ‘I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us part.’

I got home, flowers in my hands, and a big smile on my face. But my wife had died in her sleep while I was away. It turns out that she’d been fighting cancer for a few months now, but I was too busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon, but wanted to save me from a negative reaction from our son (in case we push through with the divorce). In the eyes of our son, at least, I would still appear to have been a loving husband. I carried her out for the last time…

The small details of our lives, that I initially thought were boring and unimportant, are what really matters in a relationship; not the mansion, the car, personal property or the money in the bank. These things may create an environment conducive for happiness, but they cannot provide happiness in-and-of themselves.

So find time to be your lover’s friend, and to do those little things for each other that build intimacy.
Many people do not realise how close they are to success when they give up.”

What do you think about this man’s honest story? Can you relate to the ups and downs of marriage?

Starts at 60 Writers

The Starts at 60 writers team seek out interesting topics and write them especially for you.

  1. Viral…. really this story is so bad/sad/unbelievable and ridiculous. Married 20 years, she was bitter, he had another woman, their child was happy to see Dad carrying Mum, she had cancer but he didn’t know, then she died the last day of their “agreement”. Oh, and he decided to let poor Jane down, who’d been waiting patiently for his divorce so she could end up with this married man who loved her enough to leave his wife. What a ridiculous story. How on earth could you print this rubbish, and I’m thinking, why on earth did I take the time to read it. I’m having a laugh at myself for even commenting, but sometimes you just gotta say it how it is.

    2 REPLY
    • In my rush to comment I put 20 years together… I meant 10.

    • It is ridiculous Susanne, BUT there is a very important message we all take for granted.It is not all about what we have cars, house etc its about loving a human being totally & caring for that being. For once they are gone ….they are gone.

  2. I don’t believe a word of it. Schmalz!

    1 REPLY
    • yair – I reckon it’s made-up – fiction – tear-jerker stuff – you know ‘chicks love that romantic crap’

  3. This has been doing the rounds for a few years.

  4. “Doing the rounds for a few years rubbishy schmaltz” can STILL have a very positive effect and message.
    I said to my wife when she agreed to marry me “Don’t ever say ‘I don’t know why I married you’, because I don’t know why you’ve agreed either”. 40+ years on there have been good and not so good times, ecstatic and occasionally just plain terrible times. We are far from the situation in this story (unless my wife knows things I don’t 🙂 ) but the overall positive messaqe was well worth the reading – even though I’d read it before some years ago and knew it was fabricated.

    So – keep up the good work including the occasional schamltzy rubbish – it can all have its place in proper balance.

    Old Grey Guy, Auckland NZ.
    (aka Russell McMahon)

  5. I have been married 52 years, and this sad moving story confirms my belief that all we really need in a long relationship is continual effort, from both sides, no more no less

  6. I agree with Marilyn above we have been married 40 years this july and we are going on a cruise to new Zealand for 14 days to celebrate. I booked this holiday 2 years ago and paid it off over this time (being on a pension). My husband deserves this holiday for supporting me and being my carer for the last 16 years many husbands would have left.

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