Carrie and her two friends, Jessica and Mary, were always competing. No matter what it was, they would always try to outdo the other.
The friends were having a deep conversation one day when Mary said “I’m such an optimistic person. I always see the glass half full.”
Jessica scoffed, “I’m even more optimistic than that. I always see the glass full.”
Carrie smiled, I’m even more optimistic than that. I walk in and yell ‘WOW! Nice glass!”
David was a lovely bloke but not considered the sharpest knife in the drawer by his mates. One day while having a quiet drink with the boys they got to talking about a friend of their that needed to give up smoking but was having a bad time.
“Jake just needs to give up the darts, mate, they are going to be the death of him,” said one.
“I know, he just doesn’t seem to understand that smoking is bad for him,” said the other.
David piped up, “Smoking isn’t bad for you.”
His friends argued with him for a long time, but David wouldn’t change his mind.
“Look,” David finally said, “If smoking is so bad for you; why do they use it to cure meat.”
At a dinner Party, Michael asked his friends if they would like to do something a little scary.
Sarah said “That sounds exciting. What do you have?”
Michael told the group to wait as he disappeared into the other room. He came back with a box. When he opened it there was a board with letters and numbers on it and a small cube with a little window.
“What is it, Michael?”
“We can use this to talk to the dead,” Michael said. “Just put your hands on it and ask a question.”
Tim put his hands on it “Is there anyone there?” The board spelt out “I’ve Gotta Get A Message To You” Tim was shocked.
Melissa took over “How did you die?” The board spelt out “Tragedy”.
Sarah had her turn “What message do you have for us?” The board spelt out “You Should Be Dancing” then spelt out “Stayin’ Alive.”
Tim, confused, turned to Michael and asked: “What kind of ouija board is this?”
“It isn’t,” Michael said, “It’s a Bee Gee Board.”