The top 5 funniest smart arse answers ever

We were sent in these hilarious smart arse answers and couldn’t help but share them with you!

Take a look and tell us, which one is your favourite?

SMART ARSE ANSWER 5

It was mealtime during a flight on a Qantas plane:

“Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked one passenger.

“What are my choices?” the man asked. 

“Yes or no,” she replied.

SMART ARSE ANSWER 4

A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at a Woolworth’s store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. 

She asked a passing assistant, “Do these chickens get any bigger?”

The assistant replied, “I’m afraid not madam, they’re dead.”

SMART ARSE ANSWER 3

The policeman flagged down a speeding car and when it stopped, he saw that the driver was a teenager.  

“I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. 

The kid replied, “Well I got here as fast as I could.” 

When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. 

SMART ARSE ANSWER 2

A truck driver was driving along on a country road.  A sign came up that read, “Low Bridge Ahead”. Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it. Cars were backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car arrived. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the truck’s cab and said to the driver, “Got stuck, eh?”

The truck driver said, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of fuel!”

SMART ARSE ANSWER OF THE YEAR AND NUMBER 1!

A High School teacher was reminding her pupils of their final exam the following day.

“Now listen to me, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack, a near-fatal personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”

A smart-arsed teenager at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, “What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”

The entire class started sniggering.

When silence was restored, the teacher smiled at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, “Well, I would expect you to write the exam with your other hand.”

Thanks to Russell for sending this in. If you want to read some other great jokes, click here. Or to submit one of your own to share with the Starts at 60 community, click here.