The tale of the true victims of Election Day 0



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Election time is always a bit of fun and excitement. Even if you are not that thrilled with any of the major parties and the fringe parties have names that are strange. The fringe parties are either too niche like “Only for Greg” party which excludes anyone not named Greg, or too vague like the “Sunlight Party” who for all we know are taking credit for the sun coming up. Hard to tell.

There is one small, but amazing, community that suffers each and every election day. It isn’t the political volunteers that run the polling places or wear bright shirts and stuff flyers in your hands even though you are already holding three hundred of them. It is not even the amazing men and women that are running the BBQs and baked goods tables, but they are a close second. We are talking about the ones that make those Democracy Sausages. Your humble neighbourhood butcher.

“Actually, most people just buy the sausages at the local supermarket. It’s cheaper,” bellowed Big Dave from Dave’s Cuts Butchery. Right away we could tell that this interview was going to be tough. “It’s still hard though because we do supply them to the local school and they always buy so much that I just know that some of them are going to waste.” Big Dave’s son Little Dave, who works in the shop with his father, explains.

“You see we try to get into the spirit of the election and rename our snags as ‘Democracy Sausages’ for the event. It’s a big time for us.” Little Dave beamed.

“Yeah, but what happens the next day, eh? Can’t sell ‘Democracy Sausages’ after the Election. We just have to throw them out,” Big Dave stated clearly getting emotional

Little Dave had a quick response “I keep telling you, Dad; we don’t have to throw them out. We can just go back to calling them sausages. It’s so wasteful.” Big Dave just glared at him.

Dave’s Cuts has been operating since Big Dave left the Navy in the 60s. It was his fall back position after his dream to become Australia’s greatest rock guitarist came to a crushing end. “The 60s music scene was so political that they couldn’t just understand raw talent when they saw it,” reminisced Big Dave.

“That and you never actually learned to play the guitar, Dad.” Little Dave interjected. Little Dave continued “Your raw talent was you just smashing the strings. It wasn’t even a guitar you were hitting a viola,” concluded Little Dave. It was at this time we thought it was a good opportunity to change the topics.

With both Bill Shorten and Malcolm Turnbull making sure the media saw them take part of the traditional election sausage, we asked the boys what they thought about the political leaders.

“And how was Bill Shorten eating that sausage? I found it offensive!” said Big Dave. “I thought it as an excited change that showed that he was a modern thinker that could make hard decisions when he needed to” added Little Dave.

The death stare given by Big Dave to Little Dave told us that this interview was over.

Starts at 60 Writers

The Starts at 60 writers team seek out interesting topics and write them especially for you.

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