Revolutionary breakthrough in beauty products

Pharmaceutical and cosmetic companies all around the world have dumped millions of dollars into research and development on beauty products. However, a new study has blown their research completely out of the water.

A small group of scientists have banded together to do research into a new form of beauty products that have no need for fancy chemicals. The research will not need any animal testing, which thankfully will be banned in Australia, nor need to face any government policy before it is available to you.

Kevin Johnson, a researcher for ICU Labs, stated that the labs research into beauty had shown some amazing results. “We are quite excited about what we have found,” he said, “for far too long everyone has been looking for the best beauty product ever produced, and we have found it.” The road hasn’t been easy though as they had to work with hundreds of volunteers to ensure that their research is correct.

Johnson stated, “We found that women all over the world are amazingly unique. Each person has a different idea of what a beauty product needs to be. We had to try to create a product that would fit in with the notion of beauty from some different cultures. We were excited to find that the key to the product was readily available in all of their homes.”

The research that was released to us showed that these particular cells that Johnson is talking about are guaranteed to be in your home, in your car, or even in your place of employment.

These particular cells are yours. They have been yours the entire time. You are beautiful. Mark Darcy says to Bridget Jones in Bridget Jones’s Diary “just as you are”. You don’t need a product or a scientist to tell you that.

Did this satirical article make you smile? That’s what we were aiming to do.  Sorry if it was misleading.