Turn up the heat: Simple tips to spice up your sex life

Nov 25, 2020
Here's how to spice things up in the bedroom. Source: Getty.

Who says only 20-somethings have all the fun? There’s a big misconception that older people aren’t interested in sex or intimacy – and, look, if you’ve been with the same partner for 30-plus years, things can feel a bit mundane at times – but that’s not always the case. Good news is: there are tons of creative ways to spice up your sex life.

Whether you’re single, happily married or playing the field, we’ve found ways to heat things up in the bedroom, and how to add toys to the mix, thanks to some helpful tips from intimacy coach Georgia Grace.

But before we delve into the alluring world of sex toys, Grace recommends starting off with some small romantic gestures, such as a cuddle or a kiss on the neck.

“You do need to warm each other up for these experiences, and that really starts in moments throughout the day,” she tells Starts at 60. “If you’re wanting to spice things up, do small consistent things that remind you and your partner that you’re sensual and sexual.”

Grace adds that investing in a blindfold is also a good way to ease into it, explaining: “A blindfold is literally $2 and it does so much for experimentation.”

She suggests setting up a sensual platter of food where you or your partner are blindfolded, or even incorporating sensory items such as feathers, scented candles or – if you’re feeling adventurous – a gentle whip.

Grace adds that it’s also super important to have a chat with your partner before trying anything new, saying communication is the key to better intercourse. And while it can feel awkward at first, she believes that speaking about what you’re excited by or curious about will make sex in your relationship even better.

And because intercourse can be a sensitive topic, it’s a good idea to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings by saying things like “I’m really curious about trying something new” or “I love our relationship and I want to make sex even better”, rather than announcing that “This isn’t good enough,” Grace explains. “Come from a place of positivity,” she adds.

Now, if you’re really wanting to make things exciting, Grace reckons bringing a sex toy (or two) into the bedroom is a great idea.

“I think toys are a really fun, exciting route to go down,” she says. “When I work with clients who are in their 60s, or maybe they’ve been with their partner for a while, they’ll [often say] they’re lacking the energy or desire to have sex because it feels really predictable – as they know their partner’s body so well.

“Inviting toys into a relationship, especially if you’ve been together for some time, is a great way to explore [and] have fun.”

The good news is, we stock a range of sex toys over at the Starts at 60 Marketplace, and Grace has talked us through some of her favourites.

She recommends the Melt by We-Vibe as a good place to start, saying it works very well for couples, as the product features a Pleasure Air stimulator designed specifically for two people. The toy also has a range of massaging functions, so you can find what works best for you both.

If you’re after a full-body experience, the Wand by We-Vibe, which is described as the “most powerful massager on the market”, is the perfect choice. “It can be used by yourself or with a partner to make sex really fun,” Grace explains.

She says you may also want to try the We-Vibe Chorus, which is described as the “best hands-free couples’ vibrator”, if you’re interested in adding something else to penetrative sex or partner play. And the best part is, you can program the product to deliver the ideal level of vibration to suit both your needs.

And finally, Grace says the Bloom by We-Vibe can be great for anyone who’s wanting to practise pelvic floor exercises and add a bit of pleasure too. “The more awareness you have over your pelvic floor, the more sensation and pleasure you can feel,” she explains. “Of course, you can do this on your own or with a partner.”

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