Have you given your parents more life to live? 152



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When I look back on things, we made a mistake when it came to dealing with our parents in their old age. At the time, they didn’t want to hear about retirement living options so we never really broached the conversation with them. This seemed harmless and happy, until the little things started to happen.

They were still independent and they wanted to have fun, but slowly things changed. Their eyesight deteriorated so they couldn’t drive anymore. They got slower and their bodies weren’t up to as much as they once were, so little things like cooking and cleaning the house became difficult. Then sadly, as their friends fought the battle with old age and started to pass away, they became a little isolated.

It was a slow progression from happy and vibrant to sad and lonely, and if we had done things differently, it could have been avoided. They weren’t ready for aged care and we didn’t want them there; but we did want them somewhere safe, happy and secure.

It felt like this slow progression and loss of independence was unavoidable. I wish we had known that there are other options that would have allowed them to maintain their independence. We should have encouraged discussion around alternatives to aged care like Serviced Apartment communities.

For so many people they don’t understand that Serviced Apartments are so different to aged care. To see a village, experience it and realise that they will still be independent can completely change their mind and help them to realise that this is sometimes, the best option available.

Serviced Apartments provide the perfect alternative. They have on-site facilities like pools, shops, hairdressers, exercise centres, arts, crafts and hobby classes on site so they don’t have to travel. If they do need to travel, there are village buses and car pools available. In addition there are a range of services provided to ease the burden of daily housework like cooking and cleaning. They provide meals each day and take care of the cleaning and heavy laundry services. Most importantly, there are like-minded people around them so they could have had the chance to meet new friends and never feel isolated.

More and more facilities are bringing the public into their villages to learn more and understand the peace of mind it can bring them and their families. Throughout February, Lend Lease is showcasing their Serviced Apartments and hosting a series of information sessions, open to everyone.

Five of their Victorian villages, Meadowvale, Goodwin Close, Forest Hills Lodge, Port Philip Village and Highvale Manor will be hosting these events. If you are interested in attending please RSVP by calling 1800 361 371 or visit agedcarealternative.com.au to register.


The Lend Lease Serviced Apartment Information Sessions are as follows:

To attend any of the above sessions, RSVP on 1800 361 371 or visit agedcarealternative.com.au


This article has been sponsored by Lend Lease Retirement Living who have helped people all over Australia grapple with the downsizing challenge as they have moved into retirement villages. Contact us now to discuss retirement living options that best suit you, on 1800 550 550.

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  1. you should make the decisions while you can instead of leaving to your children. I expect to stay in my retirement estate until I die but my daughter knows if I am too bad then a nursing home is where she can put me.

  2. Yes I had to put my mom in a nursing home but that was the place she always said even when younger I never want to go to one of those places just give me a few tablets. I also regret not accepting her dementia made me bit impatient with her till near the end of her life I realized how silly I was I just wanted her to be the same as always we used to chat on phone every day go out and about and when that sort of changed plus could always use her shoulder for a problem or just a laugh but luckily I grew to accept and tried to make her last couple years easier for her.

    4 REPLY
    • Lorna It sounds like you did the best you could under very difficult circumstances.Do not carry regrets your Mum wouldn’t want that.

    • I understand my mum had dementia as well.. So hard to accept the person you have known all your life is different to the one that inhabits the body when dementia take its course.

    • The good part of dementia is that they are unaware of their problem. The bad part is it is very hard on the loved ones…..been there.

  3. Yes would have loved to have done more for my parents .You don’t realise this until it’s too late.

  4. My mum died after 72 years of marriage. Dad was incredibly lonely after her death and reluctantly agreed to try respite in a hostel style village. He loved it and couldn’t wait for a permanent vacancy to come up! He’s 96 in a few months and is learning Greek, to use an ipad and bridge – courtesy of the village. They get taken on bus trips at least twice a week and food is cooked on site! Is at Byron Bay.

    4 REPLY
    • Penny that is wonderful. Bless him. My dad got dementia and it was not safe to leave him with my mom. He would have violent outbursts and got lost a lot because of his wandering. We had to put him into care. He hated it and used to cry to come home. Then as he lost himself more and didn’t know who we actually were, he didn’t like leaving the grounds on outings. We were all heartbroken and very stressed.
      I’m so happy for you and your dad. Bless you both

    • My mom is 87 this month, very healthy and not at all frail. She lives in her own house, and has no sign of dementia. I’d look after her in a shot if she needed me too

    • My dad is 84, he’s blessed with very few health issues, still climbs trees with a chainsaw. He’s my best mate and we visit each other as often as we can, along with attending footy and cricket matches. I’m a lucky bloke I reckon.

  5. I feel I’m doing the right thing with my mum 4years ago mum had her leg amputated I left my job to care for her she is nearly 85 and I’m sure she has lived longer with me than a care home a difficult thing to leave a job you loved but I know I’ve done the right thing for her

    7 REPLY
  6. I didn’t have aged parents. My Mother passed at 49 yo and I was estranged from my father for many years before he died at 65.

  7. We did the very best for out Mum we took turns staying a month at a time with her as she did not want to leave her home . It wasn’t always easy but so glad now that we did as she wished. She died in 2009 and is sadly missed.

  8. Tried to talk to my mum for many years to downsize but wouldn’t hear of it she eventually had to go into a nursing home after breaking her hip she also had dementia she wasn’t happy for a long time but she gradually accepted it

  9. Nope for me. I wish it had been different but I bent backwards to let my mother go the way she wanted. I often say I was a better daughter than she was mother. My father didn’t get to be old:( that I regret!

    1 REPLY
    • Kerry I’m touched by your honesty !!! Your a rare treasure.love it and so true of many too reverse!!!!!!’

  10. shifted my Mum into a Retirement village at age 78. On reflection, it would have been better for her had she moved in a bit earlier. She was the shy, retiring type and found it difficult to make friends and join in the village activities. She was relatively happy there for 14 years.

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