Where are the handwritten holiday cards?

Whatever happened to the letters we used to get with our Christmas cards? You know the ones where certain people told you what happened during their year. They often only had lists of the illnesses they had suffered, or they bragged about how well they and their family were doing. With this in mind, I have done an Easter one that is not typical. And NOT true.

Dear….

I can’t believe another year has passed. Everything is much the same here apart from one less household member. Fred left me for a much younger woman in October. I must say the adjustment period was short. At first, I was angry, but the next morning I withdrew all the money from our joint account.

I had been anticipating his departure for some time. So I went to a fertility clinic by myself, telling them I was single, and lo and behold am now pregnant with triplets. Fred is beside himself with worry at what his new little slut will do when she finds out he is going to be a Daddy again. He will find the extra child maintenance a bit of a challenge.

He wants to sell our home and split the difference. We went to court family counselling to try to come to an amiable conclusion a couple of months back.  Here I was very pregnant. They asked about my responsibilities and dependants. I said there were the two teenage children still at home and the three babies to be born shortly after Easter, plus the three dogs and two cats. I think they felt sorry for me as they suggested Fred take on some of the animals. He went back to his mistress with two of the dogs and a cat. She would have expected him to come back with a legal document saying we could sell the house.

I think last year I told you about the trouble Fred junior was in. The courts gave him home detention for two years. It would have been good if Fred had got custody of him rather than the animals. Fred junior would have really put a dampener on the honeymoon stage.

Sarah continues to fail at school. She doesn’t talk to me, just answers with “whatever”. I seem to spend more time at the school than she does. Latest was that she was caught selling drugs. This is her last chance before expulsion. I have found where she keeps her stash and will devise a way to get them into Fred’s love nest, then ring the authorities.

I’ve decided to take on a lover. I have been looking at a few online sites. There is a really nice man who will come and see me when he gets out of jail.

Hopefully, the courts will decide in my favour and I will either get to stay in the house or will get a big chunk of the sale. I’m working on it.

So how are you and your family doing? We will have to catch up soon. Have a Happy Easter.

Do you still send big catch up holiday cards?

To write for Starts at 60 and potentially win a $20 voucher, send your articles to our Community Editor here.