1. I could say my addiction to chocolate Pisses Me Off but it doesn’t, I quite enjoy this time of year when Cadbury’s Coconut Rough is available. A friend recently told me the local shop keeps putting her favourite chocolate biscuits on special and she felt it was her duty to buy them. I can strongly relate to her dilemma as my chocolate has been on sale for three weeks now and I feel compelled to take advantage of the savings. But I think the amount of headache tablets I have been taking is outweighing the delightful taste of the chocolate.I decided it was time to put my big girl knickers on and quit my chocolate addiction once and for all (well at least until my headache has gone). I felt I had no option but to go cold turkey. I went to bed that night with an absolute sense of determination, I thought tomorrow is a brand new day and I would have the strength to knock my chocolate addiction on the head. I woke up feeling very strong, made myself a cup of that magnificent liquid, but everything fell apart when I went to the fridge. I saw two lonely pieces of Coconut Rough; I thought I had polished all of it off the day before! I felt I had to eat them because there are people starving around the world and really it would be a sin to waste it.
Talking about starving people, I got a bag in the letterbox asking for clothes for people in third world countries. I thought about it while I was checking myself out in the mirror after a solid chocolate-infused seven days, the way I see it if my clothes fit anybody in a third world country, well, they are definitely not starving.
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2. I could say nasty people Piss Me Off and that would be correct because they do, fact is some people could not be nice even if they were riding a unicorn with a magic wand shoved up their backside with Judy Garland in the background singing ‘Somewhere Over The Rainbow’!
3. Mum is 92, she loves watching all the reality and game shows. Quite frankly, they Piss Me Off, most of the time I am able to zone out apart from when Mum starts yelling at me about Andrew O’Keefe’s over-the-top antics, and his desperate need to hear his own voice. She won’t change the channel, she has to watch him regardless of how much he Pisses Her Off. Personally, I think she is a closet O’Keefe lover.
My nervous system does not tolerate him at all,that false laugh combined with the over pronouncing of every word especially words that start with ‘P’. He seems to put every ounce of energy into his Ps. I think the contestants are amazing the way they hold their composure, because the one I saw standing in front of O’Keefe definitely copped a spraying when he was talking and said the word “Perpetual” in a sentence. Stop the clock!
4. I have been trying for the past hour to get onto the Woolworths shopping website. It won’t load and it is really Pissing Me Off! Tonight the internet is about as fast as a snail on muscle relaxants.
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