What happens when we get stuck in the past?

“Lyn, we love your book and want to showcase it in Australia. We are going to provide you with a free publicist!” This call came from Leon of Hay House and I thought that all my dreams had been fulfilled.

What followed was a frenzy of radio interviews and lots of emails from receptive listeners. After a while I found something was happening to me. My usual sense of humour and optimism were becoming jaded. I had to stop and take stock as to what was happening.

Of the initial ten interviews there ran a theme. Of course I had to be prepared that my content written in the book was open slather. What I hadn’t been prepared for was the focus on the more salacious accounts of my past. I have been very open in the book as I wanted to give permission to readers to conquer the debilitating emotions of shame and victimhood. These were the emotions that had taken me a lifetime to conquer.

What I found in many interviews was that I was being anchored back into victimhood with the focus on the negative experiences of my childhood and subsequent results. I wrote my story to illustrate that it was possible to move past abuse and live a happy and fulfilling life. My focus now is on how great life can be for me at this time, despite the fact that I have loved and fairly recently lost the most beautiful man in the world!

There were some fun moments such as when one interviewer tried to pair me up with his 80 year old father. Another incident was when one interviewer hassled me about why I had been through a few marriages. To lighten things up I just said that I had had to kiss a lot of frogs before I met my prince. Unfortunately one of the ‘frogs’ happened to be listening…oops!!

Mostly the interviews were pretty heavy going and I began to realise that I was jeopardising my well being by the constant reminders of my past. I don’t need to go there – to quote people like Eckhart Tolle – The power is in the NOW!

I was pretty annoyed when I first read Eckhart’s book, “The Power of Now,” as I felt the premise too simplistic. It has certainly been my experience that we just can’t put a lid on the past before we have dealt with it. In fact if we do this, the past can swell and fester and somewhere along the way it may rear up and confront us. That was the main reason I wrote my book. We cannot fix what we cannot observe and it has been so liberating for me to find mechanisms to help me unlock all that accumulated ‘stuff’ which kept holding me back. I knew I could help others with the journey to heal their past and move on. This is what is bringing me so much joy in my work, assisting others to make the intangible become tangible! I love it!

So the experiences of the past couple of months have taught me so much. I am now determined to more wisely choose how I spend my precious time. I do not need to keep revisiting the past. Of course I have some memories that I will always treasure but those ghosts of the past will remain just that. This has caused me to cancel some television interviews that did not sit right with me. My yardstick now is to question myself before I agree to do anything. Is this going to further my purpose?

So now I’m laughing again and off to feel the sand between my toes as I walk on the beach on this glorious day and enjoy the life I am living right NOW!

image: rimkaitis