Today is my son’s birthday, but he no longer speaks to me

Today is my eldest son’s birthday. As some of you would know, he and his brother have not been inclined to stay in contact with me over the past few years so it is particularly hard for me not to be able to wish him happy birthday. He has lived in Canada for over three years now and I have only had two emails from him. I have tried to contact him so often but to no avail. He has shut down his social media accounts all but Instagram and I can at least see this. I have asked so often why my boys have chosen to almost cut me from their lives after we were so close but I’ve never received an answer. 

My youngest son lives here in Tasmania. The past few weeks he  has contacted me more than he has done in a year. This makes me very happy. He also has never explained why this isolation occurred. I used to stress over it and spent many sleepless nights trying to work out how to fix it but only ended up feeling sad and confused. I am so grateful my youngest is starting to communicate again.

I live on my own and most of my friends live in other states or the other side of Tassie so I started to write how I felt on SAS. Baring my soul might not be for some people but I know there are others out there who have similar problems with their children. I know some of you say that I must have done something and although you are entitled to your opinion, you would not need to say that if you knew me.

I don’t want to live in my children’s pockets, I just want to stay in touch. So today being my son’s birthday has saddened me but it has also made me hope that in the not too distant future, he will call, or text or email. The fact that my youngest is doing that now and visiting has given me hope. 

I love my sons. It was love at first sight for me and I have never stopped. I hope all of you out there that have problems with your children never give up on them. I hope you learn to not let it ruin your life, and I hope that before we leave this world our children know how much we care and we know how much they care for us.  

To all the young people out there who may let time get away from them or for whatever reason they don’t contact their parents much, forgive us if we love you so much. Please hang in there with us and remember that with any luck you will age, and you may be in the same situation one day. As for me, I will always be the strongest love my children will ever know because nothing is stronger than the love of a mother for her child.

Have you experienced distance or estrangement from a parent or a child?