The way the man in the suit looks at me makes me feel that I have been judged. He gives me the same look every time he sees me; it makes me feel very uncomfortable at times. I often feel like saying, “How dare you look at me in that tone of voice”. But how can I? After all, it is only a look. I don’t know him personally, but I see him constantly at hydrotherapy.
Yes, I have had people tell me I would say ‘G’day’ to a blind man in a snow storm, where is the harm in saying ‘G’day’ or throwing somebody a smile, or a grin? For God’s sake Suit Man, at this point in our relationship I will accept a grimace.
I thought he was looking at me because I am different from what is regarded normal for my age. No I don’t wear make up – it’s not because I am lazy nor do I have lesbian tendencies, I simply have a skin disease. My new shoes however are a different matter, they scream hormone imbalance but they are so comfortable and I love them. That is one good thing about getting older: you just don’t care what people think.
My clothes may not be as expensive as his suit, but they are clean and unlike him, I don’t have the same clothes on every time he sees me. He looks important, he is always answering his phone; maybe he is a boss of some big company somewhere, just doing the right thing coming to get a family member from hydrotherapy. Got to admire his dedication: he is always there for the old bloke.
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The last time I passed him in the hallway at the centre I asked, “Hello, how are you?” I felt I had no option but to say G’day as I was the only person there. My eyes had nowhere else to go and he shot me down, ignored me completely. I just thought maybe it may have been a good way to break the ice between us, but no – I feel it has made him more determined to behave like a well dressed pig.
That’s why, when I saw him coming today, I was very torn. Should I stay in the same area or move outside? I had to make an on the spot executive decision. I decided to treat him as he treats me, so no attempts to exchange pleasantries were made by me. No nods of the head, no nothing; I said absolutely nothing, which is very difficult for me – some days keeping my mouth shut ends up being my biggest achievement of the day.
There is a very pretty pond within the complex; I had time so I flew up there to get a photo. It was an area just behind the car park. I nearly fell off my perch when I got to the top of the walkway – there was Suit Man getting the old bloke into the passenger seat of his limo, also known as an expensive taxi, and it certainly explains the suit and the constant phone calls. He has been making me feel incredibly uncomfortable for weeks, making me feel lesser, and here he is driving an expensive taxi.
He look straight at me with that very judgemental attitude. Did I throw him a smile? Too bloody right I did…