Scammers and sex hunters, the true story of online dating over 60

When Carol Lethbridge first signed up for online dating she didn’t expect to be exposed to men with alias like “Strong Boy”, “Come Ride Me”, “Big Rod” and “Jack Hammer” and as she delves deeper into the online dating experience she discovers it is full of sex hunters, scammers, duds or “dickheads”.

In her new book Online Dating After 60, Carol gives a warts and all account of her online dating experience, which almost reads like a guidebook on what to look out for.

You really feel for Carol who is looking for a fulfilling relationship with love and sex in her life (and who doesn’t) but is disappointed time and time again by unsuitable and some slightly unstable men.

It seems like there are many instances like Carol’s. People who start online dating with a genuine desire to meet somebody but are disappointed by the amount of time and effort required to even make initial contact with someone slightly appropriate.

As Carol puts it, “finding a suitable and honest guy on internet dating sites wasn’t like finding a needle in a haystack, it was more like finding a needle that had been dropped into the Pacific Ocean from an orbiting satellite!”

It makes you wonder about the rates of success. Online dating provider RSVP claims that one in 10 Australian couples have met through its site, leading to 3 per cent of the country’s marriages. It sounds pretty impressive but is it reality?

One thing that there is no doubt about is the sheer volume of people now using online dating.  A recent survey by RSVP and Nielson research says that more and more of us are using online dating with 51 per cent of Australians who have tried it, or would consider it and that 31 per cent of 61+ year olds have the same inclination.

With the large volume of people using online dating the industry is now worth 3.3 billion AUD worldwide. It is not surprising that there are people taking advantage of this.

While using online dating Carol is frequently contacted by scammers. She is quick to pick up on many of them and promptly reports them to the online dating provider. To her frustration it is just so easy for scammers just to re-open a profile in another alias.

Online dating scams have been attributed to losses of more than $23 million in Australia and I bet there is much more that has not been reported.

Carol had a particular experience that was heartbreaking to read. It really hits home because it could easily happen to any of us.

A mysterious Australian businessman draws in her confidence with his beautifully written emails and brief international phone conversations (due to his busy travelling schedule). She believes him and starts to fall for him. But when he asks for an emergency laptop to be sent to South Africa alarm bells start to ring. Then when he starts demanding emergency money Carol knows the sad truth that it is another scam. Although she picks up on this scam there were probably many more that have gone before her that did not.

That’s the thing about online dating I guess. Regular dating is hard enough but the online world is full of fakes and phoneys. It makes you wonder if it is possible to truly trust anyone you meet online and there is all the extra effort to go through to find that one person who might be just a little bit suitable.

Online Dating After Sixty is available from Booktopia or Amazon.

Have you had experience with online dating? Was it good or bad?