‘My **** has dementia’: What it’s like to live with ED

One of the drawbacks to ageing is the increase in medical issues that seem to arise.

As we age, we all experience a decline in bodily function in one form or another. For me it’s been a progression through chronic kidney disease which I wrote about here and here. 

Apart from all this, there is the constant reminder that my bits are working as well as they used to. I try to walk as many mornings as I can, and my body suggests some days I should have stayed in bed. The aches and pains continue to nag at me, and I try to put them aside as much as I can.

There is also the sexual side to things. There seems to be plenty of articles of late suggesting people over 60 should be engaging in and enjoying sex like never before. It’s a wonderful thought, isn’t it?

But being male that part of me also seems to be suffering with age.

It comes as a rude awakening to discover you can’t get it up like you used to. Thankfully my GP listened to me at the time and gave me a handful of small boxes containing ‘magic’ pills for me to try out and see if they worked on me. They do!

But as this is a sensitive issue for so many men the pleasing aspect is that once you get over your embarrassment, there is a way round it all.

In dealing with the whole issue, I wrote this poem at the time:

I Think My Dick Has Dementia

My dick has dementia
I’m sure it has.
Last night I met this hot lady
She took me home to her place,
Got everything in place
Soft lights, cushions, music just so
A launch pad into all things possible.
We engage, go like the clappers
Everything working like a champion.
She wants more attention
I comply, she utters satisfaction.
Meanwhile, my dick thinks
‘That bastard’s forgotten me
That’s it I’m going home.’
What he doesn’t do is tell my brain.
Brain thinks a temporary hiatus
No worries all good.
‘Take me baby,’ she says
‘Take me now.’
Nothing.
Like a spoilt child
Pretending disinterest
Despite all immediate attention
It’s gone off to sulk.
I am left looking a real incompetent.
I say to it, what’s going on?
Beautiful woman
Wants me now
Where are you?
Its silence is deafening.
My night a complete disaster.
I go home
Despondent
Broken
See an ad,
‘Can’t fail blue pills’
The answer to my prayers.
Trouble is I can’t remember where she lives.

Apart from all this, I have a theory that taking magnesium tablets to help with night cramping in my calves has also aided the sexual side of me.

Just sayin’. Just my observation.

Have you shared Michael’s experience with this side of ageing?