How I conquered menopause…

When we lived in New Zealand I was going through menopause. There were times that I thought I was ready for the knackers yard what with hot flushes, panic attacks, strange ’feelings’, sleeplessness, narclonic jerks when I did fall asleep plus strange heartbeats. Yes I was definitely ready to fall off the perch.

It all started when I was 38 years old ! I had my fourth and last child when I was 36, then got my tubes tied to prevent any more as my husband would not get the snip! That was the start of the mild symptoms… rapid heart beat, headaches, mild panic attacks and funny moods. We then emigrated to NZ (from UK) with the youngest being three years old and the NZ doctor I saw put me on HRT. It didn’t seem to make much difference but with four kids, a new life and having to learn to drive. I soldiered on. Fast forward to 1996 I was then aged 48 and still feeling strange most days but we moved to Dunedin in the South Island where my husband went to university to study law as a mature student. It was then that we needed a computer. The kids were all at secondary school and also needed a home computer.

I had no idea how to use a computer and my kids, sadly did not have enough patience to teach me! So I enrolled in night classes and the first thing I was taught was do not be afraid of the computer! I was off and learned everything I could learn. I typed my husbands law stuff and learned to email my family back in UK but most of all I found a Menopause support Group! For many a night I would just read the posts from women like myself all around the world. After a few weeks of reading I ventured to reply to a post. My goodness I was not alone in the world, other women were feeling the same as me! I was not ready to die!

Time went on and the Menopause site became very busy so a woman in New York decided to branch out without telling anybody. As luck would have it, I found the new site suitably called Meno Asylum! After a while there were ten of us women regularly posting our thoughts and feelings and sharing our worries. One woman was in NZ just a bit further north from me. Another was in Sydney, one in Wales and the rest were in America. After four years of chatting to four of the women, the lady  in America decided to stop, she was obviously over the menopause! That left six of us. The friend (I say friend because by now we were more than just meno mates!) from Sydney came to NZ on business and together we met up with the other friend in Timaru. It was great to meet face to face. We got on really well!

By this time I was 52 and getting over the menopause. Well the symptoms seemed to be abating and not so serious after all, I was not alone, there were many many women in the world suffering like me .

In 2003 we moved to Perth, I was feeling well, no more meno symptoms, the kids were grown up and it was cold in Dunedin! There were still six of us friends chatting on the meno asylum site but by this time it was more of a daily chat site not much menopause complaining as we were all mostly passed that stage now and we had survived. Its now been 18 years since the meno asylum site first started and to this very day there are still three of us chatting almost daily. Of course we don’t talk abut meno any more. Its more like friends talking about our families and other friends, the aches and pains of getting older, loss of family and friends as we age, anything and everything. I can honestly say that I know more about these two friends than ‘real’ time friends I have known for 20 years! We share our photos, our joys and sadly sometimes our sorrows. Yes I have met three more times with my mate from Sydney, she is lovely and the other friend who stuck with us over the years is in America, far away but close to our hearts.

Yes we did change the name of the Meno Asylum. Its now got a different name but it is private!

Would you consider joining or forming a support group for your agegroup or issues? Would a support group have helped you in the era when you faced menopause? Tell us in the comments below…