Thirteen for Thursday: fails in the name of beauty

Looking back it is easy to see the thirteen big beauty fails I have had in my life, some funnier than others.  Have you got some funny ones you can add?

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  1. Circle stitched bras were the rage, they stuck out like cones, mine didn’t quite fulfill the dream.  Not being well filled meant I had dents in the end, not a good look.
  2. I wore false eyelashes in the 70’s, dancing cheek to cheek at a dance party, I realized my partner had one stuck to his cheek.
  3. Even worse at a dinner party one fell into the soup with me not realizing and then I was screaming ‘Spider!’ to the amusement of my friends. Hard to live down.
  4. Roll on girdles that delightful torture was the best passion killer on a date. Not only couldn’t  you breath but they made you feel like you were made of concrete.
  5. I once made the children hysterical when they found me resting with an oatmeal face pack on!!! Looked dead they told me.
  6. Tried using mayonnaise for a hair pack to moisturize, I smelled like a salad for days, despite washing my hair twice,
  7. The worst feeling? When those too tight tights start to roll down the body, as you scurry away to find privacy they hit the knees and you have to hobble.
  8. I wore those chicken fillets (pads) in my wonder bra, and felt pretty good until one escaped and showed up under my chin.
  9. Oh suspender belts….those little rubber buttons flew off all the time, so the stocking would then be suspended on one string, and swing round so the seam was then going up the side of your leg, not down the back.
  10. My friend and I admired Audrey Hepburn and her doe eyed look, which was all the rage when I was 16.  We did our faces and walked around the shopping centre full of pride.  We then saw we looked like startled pandas and escaped to the ladies .
  11. No one told me wearing false nails or gel nails would make normal life a hassle, trying to pull up tights? Impossible, typing,? Difficult, using a cash machine ?…Stupid, in the end I used my knuckles.  Husband said I looked like a gorilla. Fail,—so no more false nails.
  12. I should not have believed the hair colour on the box. It did not show the fire engine red it would turn out.  Like the time I tried a purple rinse, and the time I tried a gentle ‘ash’ colour. A resounding fail! Each time it needed a scarf then lots of shamphoo.
  13. My most recent waste of time? I thought the hair piece I bought ages ago might be nice for a night out. Wanted to feel glamorous. Duh, had it done in an  ‘up’ do, waltzed out all hair spray and tendrils. Husband took one look and I knew I had just wasted money, time, and pride, the hair do lasted half an hour. I had it brushed out and we went out with me looking as I always do.

image:  genibee