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‘I don’t ever want my children to feel the way my mother made me feel’

May 13, 2018

'I spent my life trying to make my children feel better than my mother made me feel'. Source: Pexels

Mother’s Day is here again. I am not really fond of this time of year as it has become nothing more than over-commercialised rubbish. I don’t like how society has made it that people feel compelled to buy gifts for their mothers. I don’t need gifts, I know my children love me — I feel it every day.

My mother is different.

She has never treated me with an ounce of respect, yet she always demanded respect and blind obedience throughout my life. I have come to realise that for my mother, it has always been about control and manipulation.

Respect should be earned. I have encouraged my children to live their own lives without interference from me. I must be doing something right because they ring me daily to make sure I am all right and not in need of anything.

I remember the last time my mother hugged me was at my wedding 45 years ago. I believe that was only because she had an audience. I hug my children whenever I see them. They know they are loved.

My mother never encouraged me; she always chose to belittle and humiliate me whenever the opportunity arose. I have encouraged my children with absolutely everything they have chosen to do with their lives, and am always trying to build them up, never knocking them down.

Abuse comes in all forms — my mother always excelled in the verbal. I don’t believe I have ever abused my children on any level. I have spent my adult life actively trying to be the opposite of my mother. I don’t want my children to be like me and be haunted by bad memories. I want them to look back with smiles on their face’s with fun memories to share.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mother Dearest. I am forever grateful for the lessons you taught me.