How becoming a mother has changed over time

The story of a birth, the way it was, the way it is now.

When I had my daughter Kerry, it was 1960. I was in New Zealand, I had no family around, a few friends we knew through my husband’s work, and a neighbour or two. But I was basically without a support network.

I was overdue and went in to hospital to be induced, luckily I went into labour before they did anything. My husband was sent home as I really got into the hard work around 11pm. In those days, no husband’s were allowed anyway.

“Do you want to see your baby born?” a female voice kindly asked. I was helped to sit up and I saw the dark furrowed forehead, shoulders, and a hand. That was it — I reached for the hand and clutched it. I was bathed in circling fluids, from the hands touching, to my throat constricting, to my eyes. Then circling; to run back on my baby daughter.

“It’s a girl,” they said unnecessarily.

I had our daughter only an hour or so after my husband had left. How sad it was that he wasn’t allowed to be present for her birth then? Now fathers are there taking part, cutting the cord, it is so different.

I was so keen to learn though, I took another choice, having the baby all day and doing baths with supervision. We named her Kerry, and she went to the nursery at night.

I was sent home to a brand new house with bare boards. A two-week-old baby and a house I hadn’t seen finished.

My husband went back to work. He had moved into the property while I was having Kerry. A friend’s mother came to stay for a few hours. Dolly had little experience with newborn babies and was somewhat scared. She and I sat on the bed and watched the wool wrapped bundle with real fear. Kerry stirred and then began projectile vomiting.

It didn’t get a lot better that day; we set fire to the oven too.

Just imagine how it is now though! Birthing suites; water pools; husband dancing attendance; epidurals; and other interventions. There are so many bits of equipment and whizz bang pieces of machinery. When I had my daughter the only thing I had was a nurse listening through my stomach wall.

I still am fascinated by birth, and when I watch, I cry, every darned time. I suppose I will always feel like that.

Yes, times have changed. New mothers take to social media to Tweet or Instagram the birth. There are photos shared before the mother is even wheeled out of the delivery room. I see them on Facebook, baby two minutes old, Mum proudly smiling.

Regardless of the changes between births all those years ago and today, all that matters is that there is a healthy baby.

How do you think motherhood has changed since you had your babies?

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