My mother and father passed away within four months of one another this year. My dad died on January 20 at 1am and my mother died on May 5 at 1am. Both died on a Saturday.
I had not been allowed to see my parents. My younger sister, who lived with them for 14 years, sold their home, disposed of their property, had changed the power of attorney, and took out a domestic violence order (DVO) on our older sister — who had been a power of attorney — and her husband for reasons that escape me. When the matter went before the courts, my younger sister made no attempt to resolve the issues set out and after eight months of going to court the magistrate was obviously furious.
She manipulated our parents, and controlled them. I supported our older sister and her husband, and because of this support I was unable to see my parents before they died for fear a DVO would be taken out on me.
I used to call and visit my parents two or three times a week. I would even stay overnight when my younger sister travelled to look after her grandchildren, or would go to Adelaide to see her son, or when she took a cruise.
My older sister was not told when our father was placed in a nursing home. When he passed away earlier this year, we were advised there would be security at his funeral and we would be stopped from attending.
We were not informed when our mother passed away, however, the internet can be very helpful when it comes to finding things and people who know us have been quick to talk.
After the family home was sold, my younger sister moved to a retirement village with our mother. There was no assisted care. Mum was 86 years old. I feel she got my parents to sign paperwork and drew up new wills while they were in hospital.
My heart has been broken. If someone offered me millions of dollars or another few days with parents, there’s no question in my mind, I would choose to spend my time with my mum and dad. No amount of money would bring me happiness or bring them back.