Arguing with the love of your life: just don't do it

I never argued with the love of my life (LOML).

You find the woman of your dreams, you marry her and love her dearly for all time. In the decades you are as one, you never have a full-blown row, mainly because you accept her word as gospel. There is an intrinsic understanding that argument will be forever pointless because, apart from any other consideration, there are things she will have filed away that you’ve long since discarded. Have a discussion, by all means, but never try to argue. It’s a far better thing to shrug, smile, and walk away.

You will never win.

A case in point:
I arrived home one evening a few years back to find a new lounge suite sitting proudly in our home. LOML had seen it, had known I would like it (I did) and, at $2000 off, had bought it on the spot. I was silly enough to say something like: “Y’know, I’ve never spent a major amount without first passing it by you”
“Oh yes you have! What about that sawbench you bought when you reckoned it was too good a buy not to grab?”
“That was a long time ago”.
“It was 12th August 1983″.
“Sh**,” I exclaimed. “I bet you can even remember which day of the week it was?”
“Yes. It was a Friday”.

You will never win.

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Something sacrosanct:
I’d been to the toilet and used the last of the toilet roll. While washing, intending to replace the roll, the house phone rang. LOML called out and asked if I’d answer it. A few minutes later, hanging up, I was reminded how uncaring and forgetful men are.

“You didn’t replace the toilet roll… again!”
“No, I went to the phone. Anyway, over time, this would only be the second time I’ve ever missed doing it”.
“Don’t try to make yourself sound better than you are. I can remember three times you’ve done it”.

That might sound minor, an escalation of one, but another school of thought would rate it a more substantial 50%! I may well have asked the day, date and time of each misdeed (and would have been told, I have no doubt) but refrained. I might also have suggested that the previous person to use the roll should have put out a spare, realising it was so low, but didn’t.

You will never win.

Responsibilities:
This one turns the above (non) argument through 180°. LOML wanted my station wagon to carry some craft bits, heading off on a 300km return trip for the day. I always refill the fuel tank once it starts to drop below half full, the level in the wagon’s tank that day. Driving LOMLs car the next day, I noticed the fuel gauge reading low so filled it up for. The following morning, back again in my wagon, I noted the fuel warning light aglow, so went straight to the servo and filled up. That night I made mention of it, suggesting that one of us had been lucky not to run out of fuel. LOML responded, “It’s your wagon, it’s up to you to make sure it has enough fuel for any eventuality!” The logic is loaded, isn’t it, but how do you argue against it? Or, perhaps, what’s the point?

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You will never win.

There’s a fair likelihood I’ll cop a hiding over this blog, which is fine. I reckon you girls will have a whole arsenal of ‘he said, she said,’ ‘he did, she did,’ to fire back at me. I look forward to it, provided it’s done in humour! The ability to take a good laugh at ourselves is one of the most important factors in a relationship. We should all have the capacity to find fun in absurdity. If not, and I know I repeat myself, it’s probably another indicator that…

You will never win.

 

Tell us, do you argue with your partner? Who’s right?