Isn’t the internet a wonderful thing? All the information you could ever need, right there at your fingertips. Countless people all over the world ready to talk to you, debate with you, and answer your questions. It’s hard to remember what life was like before the world wide web started taking up all of our waking minutes.
And then there are the times you read things on the internet that simultaneously make you want to throw your device out a window and live off the grid in a commune somewhere in the middle of nowhere, and count your lucky stars that you are not the person you’re reading about.
One Twitter user has uncovered a Reddit thread from a few years ago, which featured some poor, poor women asking for advice on whether or not their husbands and boyfriends are normal. The problem? Their (presumable adult) male partners did not wipe their backsides after going to the toilet.
Like us, you’ll now be squirming in disgust and hoping that these men have some kind of tragic lives where they were orphaned and raised by wolves, but it doesn’t seem that way. Here is the first story / cry for help:
“Okay. So my husband is turning me off,” the user writes.
“We’ve been married for 2 months. What should I do? His feet stink … his shoes smell up the room. Also he wears white briefs.”
So far, so good, right? Everyone gets smelly feet, and what’s wrong with white jocks? Let’s continue.
“When I was washing the clothes the whole seat of his underwear had brown stains in them,” the poor, poor woman continued.
“It made me sick. Then once I was riding him then after we were done and he got up there was a brown streak where his ass had been on the bed. So I finally got some personal cleansing cloths and put them on top of the toilet. He never touched them. Oh yeah and one time I went in the rest room and it smelled like whole ass. I kept trying to figure out where the smell was coming from … I saw wet tissue in the trash with brown crumbs all over it. Why the hell didn’t he flush that tissue down the toilet?!”
The story gets worse. When this poor new wife finally confronted her hygienically-challenged hubby, he got angry.
“I finally mentioned the personal cleansing cloths. He got p**sed and screamed in my face. He told me that a real man doesn’t go between his cheeks or spread them open for anything. Men do not spread their cheeks to wipe or clean … nothing goes between them. What needs to happen here? Suggestions? Advice? No bashing!”
If you’ve made it this far without being sick, we regret to inform you that this man, apparently, is not a one off. Another woman complained to Reddit that her 26-year-old boyfriend also doesn’t wipe his bottom, saying, “He said that washing his cheeks and letting the soapy water run over them is enough” before asking readers if this is a “deal breaker”.
Twitter users have reacted with the same horror you’re no-doubt currently feeling, confirming that a grown-man (or men, even) not being able to wipe his own bum is, indeed, a deal breaker.