My sister wants our parents to change their will to favour her over me

Creating a will is tricky business and unfortunately it’s a topic that often causes turmoil among families as children, and perhaps even grandchildren, fight over who deserves what.

For one woman, the situation surrounding her parents estate has become so unbearable she’s taken to online forum Mumsnet to ask for advice after her sister’s attempts to convince their parents to change their will and leave her with more money left her feeling uneasy. 

The woman wrote that while she and her sister previously had equal shares in the will, that could soon change.

“My parents are remaking their wills. Before, it was always equal split. Now it seems there is talk of changing it to favour one sibling,” she wrote.

While the woman explained she is working full time and is happily married with two incomes contributing to her family, her sister has struggled to build up finances and so believes she should receive more from their parents estate.

“I have always worked full time. For various reasons, mostly her choice, but she suffers from anxiety too, my DS [dear sister] has not. I am married so two incomes, she is divorced so single mother (has bf who helps with bills now but guess this might not be forever). She says it is unfair to have equal splits,” she said.

Her sister claims she deserves more because her need is greater. And now their parents, who have contributed funds to the sister throughout her life, are in agreement.

“It is my DP’s [dear parent’s] estate to leave as they want. Yet, they would not have considered changing their wills but for her always talking to them about her money worries,” she explained.

Asking fellow forum users whether she is being unreasonable to feel upset about the situation, the woman asked for ways to solve the issue and keep everyone happy.

The majority agreed with her, saying she has a right to feel upset and should not receive less because she earns more money.

“I guess it’s your parents choice but I would be upset too. My sibling out earns me by about 7x but I would never expect to be left more than them,” one person commented.

While another added: “What isn’t fair is that your sister is pressuring your parents into this and they’re falling for it. It’s their money and should be entirely their decision.”

And a third said: “Ultimately the choice is theirs. I would particularly urge them to carefully consider who they appoint as executor. It sounds a bit to me that Dsis [dear sister] may make for a difficult executor, even if it’s joint.”

In some cases, parents do leave more money to one child over the other, but most of the time this is because that child has contributed to their care over the years. This is a way of rewarding a child for helping out, mainly with their health.

However, changing wills is not uncommon as people age, whether this be because of family situations, finances or assets. Sometimes this means creating a whole new will, changing the original will, which is a little more complicated and time consuming, or adding to the will.

No matter what, it’s important the final decision is officially recorded in the will, to ensure funds and assets end up where they’re wanted.

Do you think it is right for wills to be split unevenly depending on a child’s financial situation? Have you ever been in a difficult situation with siblings over wills?