‘Off with the bra! The freedoms of being stuck at home during coronavirus’

Most of us have been spending a lot more time at home lately. There’s a certain freedom in being at home that I enjoy. One of the things I really love about it has to do with a specific undergarment. The bra.

With many of us practising social distancing, self-isolating or in lockdown due to coronavirus, our daily wardrobe (and the need for a bra) has taken a bit of a nosedive.

Ask any woman, especially those over 60. I can’t imagine any of them touting the comfort of wearing a bra. It’s like high heels. They just don’t feel that great.

Yet I usually wear one religiously every day, especially if I have to go to the market with a mask on. A mask makes me ugly enough as it is, so I’d rather have my breasts look like they’re attached to an 18-year-old rather than looking like they are twin pancakes topped with a strawberry.

I will wear a bra in a Zoom meeting. I have to show some sign of respect. Don’t want to scare my buddies online. Zoom has enough problems as it is.

However, when I’m alone, I employ a different set of rules. I undo my harness, and I let them fly. They bounce around a bit like water balloons, but I don’t care. I’m comfortable.

Besides, if I’m watching a movie, it makes it easier to reach for candy or popcorn if those puppies aren’t in the way.

Guys, if you had to wear a bra, you would probably feel the same way. I’m sure a necktie makes you feel strangled.

And a jockstrap? I can’t even imagine.

But for me, it’s the bra. The Chastity Belt of the Chest.

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