‘My dad wants to bring his new girlfriend to my mum’s funeral’

Jun 24, 2021
This husband insists on bringing his new much-younger girlfriend to his wife's funeral. Source: Getty (models posed for pic)

A grieving daughter is asking for advice after her dad insisted on bringing his new much-younger girlfriend along to her mum’s funeral.

Writing on the popular online forum Reddit, the woman said her mum, who died after battling an aggressive form of cancer, was in the process of divorcing her dad when she died. She went on to say that six months into her mum’s diagnosis, her dad had a blow up during his birthday, “telling her he could not believe she couldn’t put on a happy face for just one day”.

“He quickly moved out of the house and rented a place where he took his business trips,” the daughter said. “My mom was in denial until somebody close to her told her they saw my dad first hand out and about kissing another woman.”

She said after her mum found out she filed for divorce. It was a month before her death. The daughter said soon after her dad, 56, and his girlfriend, 27, moved into their family home.

“As the husband of the deceased most people expected him to plan the funeral,” she said. “But conversations with him usually turned to preparing the house for sale and dealing with the estate that he expects to get.”

The daughter ended up planning the funeral with her grandmother, aunt and her mother’s best friend, with her father only contributing US$100 (A$132) to the day’s festivities. But the final blow came when her dad informed her he was bringing his girlfriend to the funeral.

“When I sent him the formal notification about when and where we would be holding the memorial he asked why there wasn’t one addressed to his girlfriend,” she said. “He said, ‘invite both of us or I assume you’re not inviting me’.”

The daughter is now torn over what she should do. “Should I leave the ball in my dad’s court and let him decide what he wants to do?” she asked. “Or should I bite the bullet and formally invite his girlfriend?”

Readers, however, weren’t as forgiving, advising the daughter to not invite her dad’s new girlfriend. Some even went as far to say he shouldn’t be on the list either.

“Hell, I’d be hiring security to stop her at the door if she tries to attend,” one commented.

Another added: “I wouldn’t invite him, it shows his real character when he treated your mum like he did, then making your mums death about him. He’s selfish and tbh [to be honest] it wouldn’t surprise me if he was already having an affair before he broke up with your mum. Tell him if he can’t respect yours and your families wishes, don’t bother coming.

A third wrote: “Only people who love and respect your mom allowed. Definitely not the girlfriend and your dad is questionable if he even thinks that is the place to bring his girlfriend. Your mom deserves a dignified funeral and nobody should be there that hurt her. This is for your mother not for your father. What he wants doesn’t mean a thing. Take care of your mother’s final goodbye with love and respect.”

Have you dealt with family drama after a death before?

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