The good and the bad of looking for love online… [Sex after sixty]

Even if you haven’t tried the online dating services you would no doubt by now know someone who has tried to find a partner this way. Many have had luck finding someone, but I hasten to suggest for those that have found a suitable and honest partner there are many thousands who have not.

For many over 60s who have ventured onto these sites their reasons are usually much the same, they are looking for companionship in their lives. Some have lost their partners due to ill health, many women have lost their long-term husbands that may have traded them in for a younger model. Other women, whose children have left and are established take a look at their uncaring long-term husband they are still with and realise that their life is now much shorter, and so they decide they can live without his verbal abuse and continual demands and decide to separate.

No matter what the reason for people finding themselves alone, there are probably over several million people over 60 alone given our population of over 65s is now around 14.5 per cent or 3.3 million (ABS 2013).

The online dating services are such an easy way now to put your toe into the water and see what is around. Most women certainly don’t want to sit around in their local pub or RSL and bat their eyelids trying to attract a man who may seem to be available but more than likely is not. I certainly don’t think this is a suitable way to meet a man. Again this is where the male has an advantage because often, as soon as a decent man becomes available he gets snapped up, usually within his own social group. The word gets out very quickly when an eligible male becomes free. It’s no wonder many women think the quality of men on the internet is poor because unfortunately, most of the men that resort to the internet are those that were not snapped up as soon as they became available.

The statistics available from 2011 have women aged 65 and over at 15 per cent of the total female population, and men 65 and over at 13 per cent of the total male population. These stats are from over two years ago so I would suggest it could be now more like 16 per cent women 12 per cent men. Whatever the numbers there are an awful lot more single women out there in comparison to single men.

I’ve even heard of women that watch the obituary columns if they know the wife is ill, so that they are ready to pouch when the wife has passed on!

From my experience and research, I see the main advantages and disadvantages of looking for a partner online as:

Advantages

1.         The options close by and in other areas.

2.         The other party is also looking for a member of the opposite sex.

3.         The other party’s details and photographs are there for you to make an assessment privately.

4.         You can delete the un-suitable.

5.         It can give you hope that perhaps all is not over yet.

Disadvantages

1.         People are not always honest.

2.         People often use photographs of others.

3.         It is difficult for women to find men in upper socio-economic groups.

4.         Many men are looking for no-strings sex or casual sex.

5.         Many of both sexes are looking to con and scam.

I came to the conclusion that no matter what the disadvantages are of going onto the online dating services to find a partner it gives you more options to find someone than if you’re at home in your back yard gardening. Let me know what you think?

CaroleL xxx

What have been the positives and negatives of your experiences with online dating? Tell us in the comments below… 

If you would like me to cover any particular topic in this column please email me at [email protected]

Carole Lethbridge is the author of “Online Dating After Sixty: One woman’s journey of love, lust and losers”. She has been both married and single over the last few decades and she has done her own research, gathering extensive data on relationships between females and males. Online Dating After Sixty is available for purchase for $21.50 via Booktopia.