‘I just want a companion’: Daughter tells mum it’s too soon to move on

Jul 28, 2021
How soon is too soon to move on after a loved ones death? Source: Getty

After a spouses death, some may take years to consider the idea of moving on, while others crave the companionship they’ve lost and move on much sooner. While there’s no right or wrong, a British woman has found herself wanting to move on after just six months, and her daughter is disgusted.

The woman wrote to The Sun’s Dear Deidre column last week seeking advice on how to approach the situation, saying her daughter is so against her finding a new boyfriend that she’s actively scaring away anyone who’s interested.

“Dear Deidre,” the woman wrote. “My daughter doesn’t want me to find a new boyfriend and scares away anyone who’s interested in me. She’s still grieving for her dad and says it’s too soon for me, and it’s inappropriate.”

The 60-year-old continued, revealing her husband passed unexpectedly, and six months on she’s so lonely that the thought of continuing makes her “want to give up on life”.

“I’m 60 and my husband died suddenly, aged 62, six months ago,” she wrote. “Our daughter, 30, was a real daddy’s girl and took it very hard.

“I loved my husband very much, but I’ve never been good on my own. The thought of another 20 years of loneliness makes me want to give up on life.

“But I’m so lonely – I just want a companion.”

The woman continues, revealing that after a male neighbour made it clear he was interested, her daughter “humiliated” her by telling him to leave her alone. The lonely widower asked the columnist “what can I do to feel better?”

“A neighbour – a widower – has been supportive and he made it clear he’s interested in me,” she said. “When I told my daughter she said we were disgusting, and she told him to leave me alone. I was embarrassed and humiliated.”

In response to the heartbreaking post, Deirdre says the woman isn’t wrong to be seeking companionship so soon, but reminded her that part of the reason she’s feeling lonely is that she is still grieving. She suggested her daughter spend more time with her to ease the loneliness.

“It’s not wrong to want companionship,” she wrote.

“Your daughter is acting like this because she is worried about you and feels you are vulnerable. She doesn’t want anyone to take advantage of her mum. She’s probably also worried that you’ll forget her dad, who for her can never be replaced.

“Reassure her that you will always love him but aren’t coping well alone. Maybe she could spend more time with you.”

 

Do you think her daughter is the right here, or should she be allowed to find a companion?

Please sign in to post a comment.
Retrieving conversation…
Stories that matter
Emails delivered daily
Sign up