Archangel Michael has just created a duck-goose with giant teeth and wants to show his magnificent creation to God.
He comes to God’s presence and says, “Look what beauty I made. I’m just not sure where to put it.”
God thinks for a moment and says, “How about you put it in Australia, with all the other crazy animals you’ve created.”
Lockdown here in Australia is confusing. I have no idea what’s open or closed anymore.
I just walk up to the automatic doors and if my face hits the glass I just turn around and go home.
A British national travelling to Australia on holiday is stopped at customs after getting off the plane. There, the customs agent asks him, “Business or pleasure?”
“Pleasure,” he replies.
“Anything to declare?”
“Does jet lag count?” the Brit asks with a cheesy smile.
The Aussie customs agent looks up, drearily, unamused. “Do you have a criminal history?” he asks.
Suddenly, the British man becomes concerned, and looks around nervously.
“What’s wrong?” the customs agent asks.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” the Brit replies. “No, I don’t. I didn’t realise we still needed one of those.”
A spider, a crocodile and a kangaroo walked into a bar.
That’s it, there is no joke. It’s just a regular day in Australia.