Getting a child’s hair cut or ears pierced for the first time are two fairly big moments, which most parents want to be part of. And so, some rather over-eager grandparents have sparked controversy online over their decision to pierce their granddaughter’s ears while babysitting. Upon returning, the parents were quite unhappy, to say the least, cutting ties with the grandparents over the incident. Now they have taken to online forum Reddit to ask if they over-reacted.
Explaining the background, the 22-year-old father said he and his fiancee, 23, had welcomed their baby girl Thalia nine months ago. The man revealed that he and his fiancee had specifically spoken to his parents about ear piercing and made it clear they would not be doing it until their daughter asked. “My parents didn’t shut up about it for a while, saying ‘she’d look so cute.’ But we told them ‘no’ and that’s our answer,” the man wrote.
But after the parents communicated their wishes, the grandparents went ahead and had the child’s ears pierced anyway while they were babysitting. In response, the parents decided to cut contact with the grandparents. “Two months ago we stopped talking to my parents after they pulled some sh**,” the man wrote. “When they babysat for us once, they got one of my mum’s friends to [pierce Thalia’s ears] and we were f***ing p***ed they went behind our backs. We stopped talking to them after that for disrespecting our decision.”
The man added that the couple had consciously decided against piercing because they wanted to wait until their daughter could decide herself. “We basically decided it was gonna be up to Thalia when she is older if she wants to get her ears pierced,” he wrote. “Tbh [to be honest] I was never into the idea of it being done as a baby when they can’t [give] consent … My fiancée’s parents pierced her ears when she was a baby and she always hated wearing earrings. [She] still doesn’t wear any. Just like every other parent, it was our decision not to do it to her while she’s a baby.”
After initially cutting contact with the man’s mum and dad entirely, they eventually gave in and allowed them to visit their granddaughter as long as one parent is present. “Everyone was saying we were making a big deal and we can’t cut them out their granddaughter’s life over something like that,” the man wrote. “So we decided they’re allowed to only see Thalia when one of us is around and they won’t be left alone with her.”
But the man says they are still facing criticism — even from the woman’s mum and dad — who think their decision is too harsh. “Everyone is still saying we’re being massive a**holes because we’re still punishing them over something that’s not a big deal and we’re treating them like children. We’re still not wanting to change our minds on our conditions, so it’s pitting everyone against us.”
The man concluded his post with a question, asking Reddit users, “Are we being a**holes … [not] trusting them [to be] alone with [Thalia] and preferring one of us to be there?”
The responses were heavily swung in the young parents’ favour, with most Reddit users saying they’d be just as angry if their wishes had been so blatantly ignored. One user wrote, “I wouldn’t be leaving my child with them ever again. My mum cut my daughter’s fringe and I lost it. This is another level altogether. What’s going to be [the] next thing they decide they know better on? They’re lucky they’re even allowed to see her, tbh [to be honest].”
“This is actually assault. If you had reported this to the police, it would have been assault on a minor and they would have been in serious trouble,” another commented.
“It certainly was a medical procedure without the parents’ consent,” one person wrote. “You said no, they did what they wanted anyway, against your explicit wishes. They deserve what they got. I wouldn’t leave my daughter unsupervised with anyone who did this to her either!”
Others brought into question the environment in which the daughter’s ears were pierced, noting that the grandparents had possibly had a friend do it rather than a professional because a professional would have requested proof of parental permission.
“Not only this – but they had a friend do it. Did they even take her to a sterile professional environment? I’ve seen a lot of friend piercings lead to gross infections,” one wrote.
While another replied, “No professional … worth their salt would ever pierce a kid’s ears without express permission from the parents or legal guardian.”