When this question was raised at The Men’s Shed, there were a few uncomfortable looks and a lot more “Umm” ing and “ahhh” ing than usual. There is a stigma that the longer that you are married, the less you have sex. Could it be that you are just not putting effort into sex anymore?
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We asked the men of The Men’s Shed about their feelings about sex.
“This isn’t the start of one of those videos online?” Kevin asked. Isaac yelled from the back of the room “We know what sites you are on, mate!” The rest of the boys laughed.
“When I got married, my mates told me that our sex lives would dry up. While the wife and I still had our moments, it wasn’t as frequently as when we first met. It took me years to realise that it wasn’t a sex drive thing, it was just that I wasn’t very good at it. That took a big shot to the ego; I’ll tell ya,” Kevin shared. “But one day I had a very honest talk with the wife, and she told me that I could be doing more to keep things interesting. I asked her why she never brought it up and she said that she didn’t want to embarrass me. Bless her. The fact is I would rather take an ego shot if it meant we would be having more sex. So we are very honest with each other, and it has helped a lot.”
John smiled “I couldn’t agree more with Kev on the communication thing. I was hopeless in the bedroom. I mean, I obviously had the idea as I have three kids, but I don’t think I got the whole mutual pleasure thing entirely. A friend gave me a book all about spicing it up in the bedroom, and I thought ‘What the hell’ and sure enough it was like I lit a fire under our love life. Just shows ya, fellas, out there. Put the effort in and the rewards will be very welcomed.”
Are you open with your partner about your sexual needs? Could a bit of communication help the frequency of action in the bedroom?