Why does a "light read" on the toilet make pins and needles?

It has happened to almost every man at least once; chances are it has also happened to a number of women as well. Trying to maintain the best time management you decide to get some light reading done while on the toilet. When you finish your business and go to stand up, you end up doing your best impression of John Cleese’s Silly Walk sketch from Monty Python’s Flying Circus or at the very least your best newborn deer walk.

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Why does this happen?

Primarily it happens because you are squishing the blood vessels in your legs by sitting on the hard seat for a long period. It will happen to skinnier people even quicker as they have less body fat to cushion them on the toilet seat. This is also the key to the solution.

If you like your quiet time on “the throne” then you might want to invest in a toilet seat cover that has either a thick foam or air cushion built in. You could also purchase an air doughnut if you don’t want a whole new seat. The air doughnut is a lot like those you would sit on if you have haemorrhoids. While these won’t completely stop the feet tingles from happening, but it will make it take a bit longer. If you are honest, if you have one of those seats and it’s still happening then your partner might be right in saying you are spending too much time in there.

Though, if you are also sitting on there long enough to cause pins and needles often enough, you could be causing haemorrhoids by doing that. In which case, that air doughnut might also come in handy there.

Are accused of spending too much time on the can? Are you a regular “pins and needles” sufferer? Do you just do your business and get out?