The eight traits of people with healthy self-esteem

You might think that by the time you’ve reached your 60s you’ll have developed a healthy self-esteem, but the truth

You might think that by the time you’ve reached your 60s you’ll have developed a healthy self-esteem, but the truth is that’s not always the case.

Part of ensuring you have a well-developed and healthy level of self-esteem is to make a commitment to yourself to try not to please the world. Easier said than done.

However, if you want to live your life to its fullest and show the world just how strong you are, you might want to consider the following traits of people who have a healthy self-esteem.

  1. Live with an attitude of humility. When your skills and experiences (or gifts and talents) are revealed to others, your self-esteem gets a boost of positivity or affirmation almost immediately.
  2. Speak the truth as you see it, without fear of rejection and with no intent to harm others. When you speak truthfully and lovingly it doesn’t matter if the person you are talking to is able to truly hear what you are saying. You cannot change someone else, only yourself.
  3. Learn how to separate your feelings from the message being delivered. If you have a strong level of self-appreciation and self-worth you’ll know that not everything is an attack on who you are. By being able to remove the emotion from what is being said you are better able to understand the message being communicated to you.
  4. Recognise how emotions such as anger, fear and guilt can influence your life. Those with stable levels of self-esteem are able to look beyond the emotion and identify the reasons for and source of those emotions.
  5. Don’t follow the followers. Habits and your way of thinking can become deeply established, and it is often easier and more comforting to follow than to adapt and cope with change, even if it means the change puts you in the path of freedom, achievement and success.
  6. Believe in the ability of others to make decisions. When it comes to your loved ones, believing in their abilities and encouraging them not only has a benefit for boosting their self-esteem, it will boost yours too. You will have a better appreciation and respect for the skills, experiences and abilities of others.
  7. Be accountable in word and deed for what you say and do. If people can’t rely on you to do something when you say you are going to do it, or if you continually break promises you need to address this if you want t improve your self-esteem. You want to be strong enough to take responsibility for your actions.
  8. Accept that what’s in the past is in the past and what is present is now. If you are holding on to a past hurt and can’t see the good from all the bad of years gone by, your self-esteem will be in a hole too. A strong person with solid self-esteem is one who refuses to let the past control what happens to them today.

Increasing your self-esteem doesn’t happen overnight, it takes time and persistence. Those first small decisions will, eventually, lead to heightened self-esteem and greater confidence.

How would you rate your self-esteem? Do you have any, or all, of these traits?

  1. Joan Marshall  

    5th on the list is Do Not Be a Follower something I have never been. I will compromise to some extent because we have to live in this world but never really Follow. Going through the list has reminded me that I have healthy self esteem because i will never follow. If you believe in Astrology i am a leader under the sign of Cancer. Leaders never follow. If self development was taught in schools we would have a far better society instead of subjects in school that we seldom use.

  2. Frank  

    I’m thinking EQ – emotional intelligence/resilience is more important than regular IQ – I had several highly intelligent schoolmates who either committed suicide or became alcoholics

    a couple of thoughts I like – what someone else thinks of me is none of my business – they might be having a bad day – or imagine I look like someone they had a bad experience with – not my problem – the Chinese know – if someone’s acting crazy – don’t get involved – just walk away – or they might hurt you – not because you’re bad but just because you’re there

    you can’t force other people to change – you can only change yourself – if you want someone else to change, simply change what you do for them – e.g. stop making their dinner – and they will change instantly – you can’t change behaviour until you change the consequences

    helping others is the longest lasting source of happiness – so when I see selfish people wondering why they’re not getting everything they want – shaking an angry fist at an uncaring sky – they should get outside themselves – find someone worse off than themselves – ‘I was unhappy I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet’ – when you focus on helping others the love and joy just comes – magic – puts a smile on your face and you forget your trivial worries – pouf ! Gone.

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