Baby Boomer asks how to date again after losing a loved one

Old couple on date
One lady has asked the internet how she is meant to feel and act on a first date, after losing her husband to cancer. Source: Pexels.

Losing a partner after you’ve been with them for a long time can be extremely tough, but overcoming the fear to join the dating game in older age can also be a daunting experience.

One Baby Boomer plucked up the courage to begin dating again, but turned to internet forum Gransnet for some advice before meeting her new man for a date. She had been chatting to the gentleman for a while online, but was ready to take the next step. 

She explained that she had cared for her ill husband for more than seven years, but that he sadly passed away from cancer a year ago. She became inspired to start meeting other people after reading about dating for over-60s online, but wasn’t too sure where to begin with it all.

“To cut a long story short, I have been chatting with someone that seems really nice and we are meeting this weekend,” she explained. “I am simply petrified! Not of being murdered, but DATING,” she said.

Read more: Are you ready to start dating again? Here’s what’s next for you

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The lady, only known by her screen name of Rolande, asked the forum for advice. It had obviously been a long time since she had been on a first date and she wasn’t sure what had changed since that time.

“We’re meeting in a pub for lunch,” she continued. “What do I wear? Do we shake hands when we meet? What if I don’t like him?”

She asked whether his table manners were important or not and what she should do if it turns out she didn’t like the man in person. “I’m like a cat on a hot tin roof. Help!”

Plenty of others who had been in the same situation after their partners died rushed to Rolande’s aid. One person encouraged her to have fun, but to also be safe.

“Relax a little Rolande I know it’s a big step for you but it is just one date,” she said. “Wear something smart casual which you are comfortable in. He is lucky to be meeting you so enjoy the evening, if there is anything about him you don’t like, no second date. Be safe, tell someone where you are going and arrange to call them when you get home. Don’t accept a lift, ensure you have transport available.”

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Another person said she should treat the date as if she had met a new female friend: “I would just treat the meeting as if you were going to meet a new woman friend you’d been chatting to, because that’s all it needs to be. Just meeting a friend and seeing how you get on”.

A third added: “In my experience, they normally give you a quick peck on the cheek when you first meet, which is fine. So try not to worry and analyse everything. Hopefully you will have a great time”.

What advice would you give someone looking to get back in the dating game? Is it something you’ve had to consider in older age?