A woman, who moved across the country for a man she met online has sparked debate after revealing she’s considering staying in his guest room while he patches things up with his wife of 20 years.
Writing to The Mercury News’ advice column, Ask Amy, she wrote: “I am a retired woman in my 70s. I met a wonderful guy online. He said his wife of 20 years had recently left him – she moved out and he kept the house.”
After corresponding for several weeks and visiting him, she said she made the decision to move in, even though he lives 1,300 miles (2,000 kilometres) away.
“However, as time is going on, I see that he is still very much in contact with his wife,” she added. “She has complete access to the house because he says that she still pays part of the bills for the house and has a right to stay in communication.”
The woman added he recently told her they will not be going forward with the divorce, but are looking to go into counselling.
“He said that because I’d moved so far to be with him that I am welcome to stay in a guest room for now,” she added.
She said he is giving her no guarantees about what will happen, adding: “They are considered a ‘power’ couple in their circles”.
“Do I stay, or do I go?” She asked. “If he decides to stay with her, of course there’s nothing I can do. But if he changes his mind I would still like to be available, because he’s a great guy and delightful company.”
Amy Dickinson advised the woman the answer to her question is quite clear, adding: “It is time for you to go”.
“Your wonderful guy has shown you the door to the guest room. Do you really want to stay in the guest room while Mr. Wonderful and his wife work things out with a counsellor?” She asked.
“I don’t know if Mr. Wonderful is being honest about his situation with his wife, or if this is his way of showing you the door, but the message he is sending is very clear. It is time for you to go.”