‘My son wants a cut of the money I’ve inherited from my father’

Growing up you wouldn’t dare discuss money with your parents, and you certainly didn’t ask what you were going to inherit from them, or even necessarily have any expectations that you would. But things sure have changed.

Posting on Gransnet, a mother-of-two pleaded for advise on whether she should give some of the inheritance she received from her father to her children, after her son made it clear he expected a cut.

She wrote, “My father left me some money when he died. I am a single parent with a disabled son. My 27 year old also lives with us. He pays a nominal rent of £25 [A$45, US$35] a week all in, partly so he can save to have his own place.”

But the anonymous mother revealed her son thinks she should give some of her inheritance to him and her other son “even though it’s all I have to live on for the future”. “What are your thoughts please,” she asked. 

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The post sparked an online debate, with some saying that the woman should make whatever decision she was happy with. “It was left to you, to do what you see fit. If you decided to treat your sons, that would be your decision, not theirs to make for you,” one user commented.

But the vast majority were outraged at the temerity of the woman’s young son to expect a handout, when he was already receiving heavily subsidised accommodation. In fact, some suggested that in giving him this help with rent, the woman herself may’ve accidentally encouraged an entitled attitude.

“How dare he? You are virtually supporting him now,” one commenter raged, while another said, “Well, to be very blunt indeed, your son needs to take a hike! It is YOUR money to do as you will with – your money, your choice. When we had a small legacy we did share it with our DDs [darling daughters] for house deposits, but in no way did they expect this, nor would they have ever dreamed of asking/demanding that we should.”

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“Tell him you will leave (whatever is left) to him in YOUR Will! I think for a 27 year old, living at home virtually rent free, you are doing plenty. Time for him to find his own feet perhaps?” one user added.

One final commenter summed it up: “I find it annoying that the next generation thinks everything is theirs by right. We never inherited anything from our parents and we had to pay for their funerals because that was the way it was.” 

The response may well have been different had the woman been well-off. According to the recent study Finances in Retirement: New Challenges, New Solutions, many financially comfortable people prefer to give now rather than later, with 77 per cent of retirees saying it’s better to pass on inheritances while still alive.

What do you think? Should she give her sons a share? 

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