Remember the times you thought your partner was insatiable in the bedroom, but now, not so much? If your partner’s sex drive has taken a dive it can leave you feeling confused, concerned and a little upset.
It’s normal to worry that you’ve become too used to each other — especially if you have been together for what feels like a lifetime. But when you feel like your partner no longer makes an effort to keep the spark alive it can become a dangerous cycle.
This was what happened in Anne’s situation. Anne, 60, says her husband, also 60, told her he was too old for sex. She was devastated and completely unprepared to give up that part of her life. Her dilemma was that in trying to discuss it with him caused him embarrassment and guilt in that he was letting her down.
It’s a surprisingly common problem, but just because you are in a long-term relationship does not mean you have to cease all of the fun and excitement of your sex life because you reach a certain age. While research shows it’s normal for your libido to decline, you don’t have to give up a sparkling sex life.
There are many reasons why your partner might not want sex anymore, and the reasons a different for both men and women, not to mention temporary.
In men, these include male ‘menopause’ (yes, it’s a ‘thing’, more commonly referred to as ‘andropause’). As men get older it’s natural to experience a dip in the sex drive. Also, low testosterone levels could be the culprit, so keep an eye on low energy, mood, fatigue levels, a loss of muscle mass and even erectile dysfunction.
Another reason men can lapse in their desire to tear their lady’s clothes off comes down to the lack of kissing and hugging from their partner. Who doesn’t like to be kissed ‘good morning’? Do you hug each other before he goes to work. If there is a decline in the ‘everyday affection’ in your relationship it can have a knock-on effect on your sexual relationship. Now’s the time to inject a bit of spontaneity to reignite that spark.
Believe it or not, another common reason men become disinterested in having sex is because they are worried about the economy. Despite the millions of steps being taken to give men and women a balanced responsibility in the finance stakes, men who worry about their financial future can see an interference in their under-the-covers action. Extreme stress will do that to a person, so think about the ways that stress can be reduced and even removed.
There are similar reasons women have a decline in their desire to have sex.
Women like to feel sexy when it comes to having sex. It’s highly likely a woman’s body has changed over time, especially if she has had children along the way. Things that used to sit up high might be drooping a little bit. She knows it and she might think about it often, and it probably doesn’t help if she’s comparing herself to other women. A woman needs affirmation from her partner that she is desirable and your body language and passion for her in the words you use will do this.
Women need you to listen and they need to feel they have been heard. Women naturally like to talk about their day, your day, feelings, successes and failures, dreams, and concerns. Communication between the sexes is important, but women need you to listen. It shows her that she isn’t just something her man glances upon at the end of each day.
If sex isn’t any fun you can bet a women won’t be interested. While orgasm isn’t essential, if you want a woman to be interested in sex it’s good for her to achieve one and if you want to make sure she does, try talking to her about it. Find out what works, and what doesn’t. Don’t be embarrassed, because when you go on the journey together it’ll be the best for both parties.
Isn’t it worth it in the end?