Money can be considered both a blessing and a curse; it helps in the hardest of times but in other cases it can tear families apart.
Unfortunately for one frustrated woman, it is leaning towards the latter, as she struggles to understand her in-laws’ penny-pinching ways.
Taking to online forum Mumsnet, the mother sparked a mixed reaction as she explained that while she genuinely loves her husband’s family, their attitude towards money is making her feel increasingly uncomfortable.
“When it comes to meals out, holidays, petrol money etc. every penny is accounted for and split to an almost ridiculous degree,” she wrote. “For example, yesterday my brother-in-law wanted to transfer me money for giving his mum a lift to the doctors and buying her a snack + tea. Obviously, it’s one of those things you do to help your loved ones out and not for financial gain.”
Finding it difficult to comprehend why they’d go to such extremes with money – having been used to the polar opposite with her own family – the woman said it has now come to the point where it’s affecting their relationship and she is desperate for ways to solve the issue.
“I grew up with a family that had a completely different attitude, the idea of a child transferring their parents money would horrify my own family. We do favours for each other and yeah sometimes you are out of pocket but so what? It will likely work itself out in the long run anyway,” she explained.
“I just have no idea how to adjust to their way of thinking. It’s not the kind of relationship I want.”
Her post received mixed responses from fellow forum users with some agreeing her in-laws’ decisions were “ridiculous” while others said she should learn to respect their ways of doing things and not cause unnecessary problems.
“Just say no, you don’t operate like that or that you can’t remember the cost. It’s beyond my comprehension too,” one person commented.
“If people prefer to ‘pay their way’ then you not accepting them doing so may well lead to them thinking you are trying to control them financially or exercising some sort of weird one upmanship,” another warned.
While a third suggested finding a middle ground where both parties would be happy. “Accept the situation for larger amounts but if its say less than £10 then say oh it’s not worth all the fuss for such a small amount,” they wrote.