Watching your children get married is one of the proudest experiences a parent can have – a joyous day that paves the way to a strong family bond and hopefully some grandkids down the line.
But one woman felt hurt after her daughter-in-law refused to let her make a speech on the big day. Taking to online forum Gransnet, the woman said she was disheartened that her only son’s future bride and family had made all the wedding arrangements, leaving the mother-of-the groom to take a back seat.
“She is a nice girl but I don’t think that she has thought about this being a big day for me as well as for her family,” the woman, who used the name Yoyogran, wrote. “He is my only son and seeing him happily settled is so important to me.”
“I would love to make a short speech at the wedding to say a few things about what a lovely man he has become and how I am looking forward to seeing him settle into his new future. I suppose this is the equivalent of the father of the bride speech.” she added.
The writer explained that she had asked the bride if she could make a speech, but was rebuffed. (She doesn’t mention the feelings of the father of the groom, or indeed if he will be at the wedding._ “I don’t understand why her parents can make a speech about her and I can’t say anything about my son,” the woman said in her Gransnet post, asking fellow users if she was being unreasonable.
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The forum’s commenters had plenty to say about the matter. For the most part, people thought she was being a little unreasonable and that insisting on giving the speech could ruin her chances at a healthy relationship with her new daughter-in-law.
“Take this on the chin and do not mention it,” one advised. “I know it is hard, but it is their wedding. You have years ahead of you to get to know and love this lass and you do not want to get off in the wrong foot. Will there be cards/telegrams read out? Maybe you could say what you want in that way.”
Another user suggested a smart alternative: “If you want to publicly announce how wonderful your son is (and possibly seriously embarrass him in the process) why not host a pre-wedding get together with your [daughter-in-law] and her family and make your speech then”.
Others were more sympathetic, but said that there was little that the mother-of-the-groom could do to change the situation.
“I’m sorry to say that although I don’t think that you are being unreasonable, neither is your future daughter-in-law, and at the end of the day it is her wedding and therefore it’s her wishes that should prevail,” one said.
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Do you think the daughter-in-law is being unreasonable in refusing the mother’s speech? How would you have felt if your future mother-in-law wanted to make a speech at your wedding?
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